This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

The Book of St Richard, Chapter 10

Continued from Chapter 9

Dawkins and worshipper

Fr Dawkins (R) greets a devout worshipper (L)

1. So The Dawkins Cult began to flourish, and the faithful Dawkinsites met every Sunday to sing hymns to their god.

2. They sang Through the night of Dawkins sorrow, and What a friend we have in Richard, yeah, and even O Come, All Ye Faithless [that's enough atheist hymns. God.]

Dawkins Foundation

A meeting of the Dawkins Foundation

3. And Richard said, "My work is not yet done. I shall found the Out Campaign, so that atheists may come out of the closet, and declare themselves publicly."

4. For do not the Christians shout abuse at us, yeah, even beat us up when they come out of Midnight Mass?

Coming out of the closet

An atheist comes out of the closet

5. And it was so. And Richard saw that it was good.

6. So then Richard said, "Now let there be a fleet of buses, which may carry forth our message to the world in no uncertain terms."

7. And the first message was a message of War, which struck terror into the hearts of the Christians, the Muslims, and the Jews. A mighty army of buses bore this writing, in words of fire:

8. THERE'S PROBABLY NO GOD, BUT LET'S FACE IT WE COULD BE WRONG. THERE'S NO POINT BEING DOGMATIC ABOUT THESE THINGS. WHAT IF HE DECIDES TO SMITE US?

9. And the second message was a message of Peace, which struck terror into the hearts of counsellors, psychiatrists and social workers everywhere, as they realised that they were going to lose many customers:

10. ANYWAY, DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT IT. WHY NOT JUST SIT DOWN AND HAVE A NICE CUP OF TEA?

11. And Richard obtained his bus driver's licence, that he might drive round the country with his twin messages of War and Peace.

12. And many men entered into the buses of Richard, paid their fares, and were taken for a ride. Which was only to be expected.

Dawkins bus

A veteran of the bus wars

13. And at about this time, Richard reached the noble age of three score years and seven.

14. And the learned dons of Oxford said, "At last! We can be shot of the old coot, who is, frankly, a bit of an embarrassment to us."

15. And to make sure that he really was going, they erected a mighty silver statue in memory of the great man.

Dawkins monument, Oxford

The Dawkins Monument, Oxford

16. But this was not the end of Richard's illustrious career, as we shall see.

Continued in Chapter 11

8 comments:

  1. When he retired was he still a professor in good standing? Was he ever accused of bein the rabit? All hard questions, darling eccles, but not for a saved pusson I hopes xx Jess

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  2. Eccles is about as saved as Hitler. Dawkins knows hes wrong. He knows we were created.He just wont admit it. I have proof.I dont know what beef that knucklehead eccles has with Dawkins, they both hate god.

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    1. Ullo Bosco, dere bruvver. How nice to hear from you again. Is you still saved?

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    2. darling eccles, I am sorry the fatted calf appears to have slain the Prodigal Son. Commiserations xx Jess

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    3. We aint got a fatted calf, but I will offer him one of Anti Moly's Cronish pasties, made by a reel crone.

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    4. darling eccles, perhaps killing the cronish pasties would do it - like on that fillum, 'the wicker man' - but make sure bosco ain't inside before lightin' the fire xx Jess

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  3. Jessica...hummmm...your modus operendi seems familiar to me.I smell Broomhilda in all this. You cant kid a kidder

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    1. Sorry, Bosco,I don't know any Broomhilda.

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