This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 9 February 2013

"Cameron's Pope" exonerated

Cameron and Pope

David Cameron and Pope Benedict XVI. Were they really friends?

The Guardian, February 9th 2113.

The author of a new book, The Pope's Catholics, has found evidence that Pope Benedict XVI, long vilified as "Cameron's Pope," was in fact a good friend of those who were persecuted by the evil dictator during his rule between 2010 and 2015.

In his new book, Gordon Thomas explains that during the persecution of the Catholic church in the early part of the 21st century, Benedict XVI did not stand idly by, but actually attempted to defend Catholic doctrine.

Many Christians, and Catholics in particular, were dismayed when in 2014 Cameron brought in an "Equal Marriage" law, reducing the age of consent to 6, and allowing marital unions to involve all organisms, regardless of sex and species, provided that at least one human was involved. Although he had earlier given an assurance that this was not his intention, "the world had moved on," and earlier promises were no longer valid.

Bridal goat

A happy bride, "hoping to have kids."

For Anglicans and Catholics, Cameron had given an "octuple lock" guarantee that they would not be forced to conduct such wedding ceremonies in church. This of course meant that it very soon became obligatory. When the "Bigotry Act" of 2014 was introduced, many priests were forced to go into hiding.

Of course, some quasi-religious people were delighted: Giles Fraser, the journalist and part-time vicar, had said "I am prepared to be boiled in oil, and have my toenails pulled out, but it won't stop me marrying three men and an elephant, if I am asked to."

Elephant wedding

A wedding party, on its way to St Mary's, Newington.

But what was Pope Benedict XVI doing while all these changes were being made? Well, unlike some of his bishops and clergy, and totally unlike some nominally-Catholic MPs, he did in fact speak up in defence of traditional marriage; indeed, he provided shelter for many persecuted priests who rebelled against the new laws. In particular Benedict promoted to cardinal the man who later became his own successor on the throne of St Peter, preferring him to the obvious candidate ("Vin Rouge" or "Red Vin"), whose moral leadership he considered to be very weak.

Pope Pius XIII

Philip Egan (later, Pope Pius XIII).


  1. Dr Thompson could have had a scoop - 'official: de Pope is Catholic ' xx Jess

    1. "My sources in Rome tell me that the Pope has been seen participating in Catholic Masses. Meanwhile, Prime Minister David Cummerbund..."

    2. Predictably, in your bigotry you have failed to mention that the Equal Marriage Act applied only to "all organisms", NOT all objects.
      As someone who has been in love with his drum kit since six years old - the age of consent - the Catholic Church has consistently refused to let us marry or even bring my drum kit near the altar.

      Objectphilia, a natural orientation, is stigmatised to the extent that lovers of walls, altar rails, soft toys or the Eiffel Tower are leaving the Church in droves.

    3. Still banging your drum on fr Finigan's blog?

    4. I doubt even your drum set would consent to you phil - try the mirror - but only when facing it.

    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    6. Phillip - I think there are several more progressive Catholic priests who would have no problem with your drums near the altar.

      The Spirit of Vatican II is very clear in their support - unfortunately I can't find a link to share.

  2. ...G'z up sav'd'homies...what it do eccles..i just be catchin the vapours on your scrip..dat elephant remind me of my ole Dawg from the poke Bubba G-money...haha..took 3 young bucks ta get him out da shower cause he so fat..haha...MAD PROPS!!!yo still be droppin the science in steezy..Word Up!!holmes...keep prayin for me pleez i ain't sav'd'yet like youse..peace out

  3. Sorry Eccles, satire is dead.
    Our taxes fund this?!
    Equal? M + F = F + M
    But M + M = F + M ??? Equal?
    Clearly M + M or F + F are more equal...
    As the great unbigoted Jeremy Hardy pointed out on the impartial Radio 4 News Quiz on Friday that equal only applies to M + M or F + F and self-evidentially not any other combination or multiple or object - to guffaws from the unbiased studio audience.

    Obvious init? Equal means what they want it to mean.

  4. Hmm, my predictoins may be a bit off-target here. Unless de Pop makes Egan a Cradinal in de next few weeks.