This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

BBC interviews the Pope's enemies

BBC presenter: After the sudden announcement of Pope Benedict XVI's resignation, we shall be talking to a balanced selection of people who have good reason to hate him. Let's start with you, Justin Welby. Your predecessor, Archbishop Cranmer, was martyred by the Catholics in 1556, so naturally you detest Pope Benedict.

Thomas Cranmer

Thomas Cranmer - did Benedict XVI ever apologise for his death?

JW: Er, no, actually, I think Benedict has shown great dignity, insight, and courage. All in all, rather a good Pope, really. And I think it's an excellent thing when a major religious leader steps aside, in order to allow a younger man to take over.

BBC: Oh, you're no fun at all. Over to Richard Dawkins now, who can always be relied on to say something anti-Catholic.

RD: Sex. That's the main thing in life. And the Pope hasn't had any. What a waste. Look at me, I'm the man they call "Dr Sexy" in Oxford. Nearly 72 years old, and I'm still regarded as an Oxford Don Juan (geddit?)

Dr Sexy

An erotic DVD starring Dr Sexy. Not suitable for children.

BBC: Thank you, Professor Dawkins, for making that deep point of theology. Well, we at the BBC are nothing if not balanced in our coverage, so we also invited in a Catholic who hates the Pope. Catherine Pepinster is busy insulting the Pope on Channel 4, but instead we have managed to get hold of Lavinia Byrne, a former nun.

LB: Drone drone drone, women priests, contraception, Spanish Inquisition trying to bully me, Pope Benedict ate my hamster, ... (continues until she has a fit).

Nuns on the run

Panic-stricken nuns flee the bullying of the Catholic Church.

BBC: Thank you so much, Lavinia Byrne, for putting the Catholic point of view. We'll continue this debate on BBC Radio 5 Live, where Austen Ivereigh is being mauled by a specially-selected group of Leeds United supporters, but here is a final proof that God Himself (if he exists) hates the current set-up at the Vatican.


"GIVE ME HANS KÜNG !!!" says God.


  1. Very funny, Eccles, and so accurate! The BBC coverage of Catholic affairs gets more bizarre by the day.

    In our local Alicante regional newspaper today, there are seventeen pages of commentary on the resignation. (In a paper that is entirely secular and rarely comments on matters Catholic.) Mostly this coverage is given over to the Bishop of Orihuela-Alicante, the previous bishop, the Vicar General, canon lawyers and other parish priests. Proper journalists here know when to hand over the commentary on the features pages to people who know what they are talking about... unlike the Today programme on Radio 4 who only consult Giles Fraser on any church matter these days.

  2. darling eccles, clearly iy is the duty of the BBC to get as many unbiased views in favour of anti-Cathlicism as it can - it is there in its DNA xx Jess

  3. Ma pepinster unwisely chose to be interviewed on the Channel 4 News by Jon Snow. Unfortunately, she was up against a young traditional Catholic, and it was a joy to see herself and the interviewer given a sound trashing. Barry Brit has the video.

    1. Is there a link to this interview? BTW, there is a shop called Jadis opposite the FSSP church here in Brussels

    2. I would also be interested in seeing this video.

    3. Here it is:

      Ma Pep appears at 2:30.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. denis

    I'm disappointed to have missed your comment as is FrereRabit no doubt. Your blog is quite remarkable. I myself am also an admirer of Emmanuel Levinas.