This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 3 February 2013

Bad Hymns 16

The judges of the Eccles Bad Hymn Award have received two nominations for Bob Gillman's hymn Bind us together, Lord, so we felt it was time to invite the author to discuss his work with us.

E: Welcome, Bob. It says in my briefing notes that the hymn is suitable for marriages, because of the Bind us together phrase, which we get to sing a total of fifteen times (or perhaps twenty if the chorus is repeated at the end).


This is what makes marriage so popular.

BG: Yes, indeed. I wrote the tune myself, as well. You may have noticed that it also doubles as a funeral march: I was hoping to enter it for the Eccles boring tune award.

E: Well, you'd be a strong candidate, certainly. Let's explore the words a bit more. You want us to be bound together with cords that cannot be broken. That's a profound theological insight.

BG: My spiritual adviser told me that it was better than asking for "cords that just might get broken."


An enthusiastic parishioner verifying that the cords cannot be broken.

E: Well, Bind us together with love seems to be O.K. I'm glad you finally got away from the rope motif.

BG: My next verse was very easy to write. There is only one God/King/Body, you see.

E: Yes, you're taking this nice and gently, I must admit. Not exactly hitting us with a blizzard of deep theological concepts.

BG: If you wanted more verses, I have recently discovered that There is only one Father/Son/Spirit as well. Or there's only one Paul Inwood (although that seems like too many).

E: I think that would make the hymn a little too exciting. Luckily we have another Bind us together chorus to calm us down again.

Bound for church

Some worshippers bound for church.

BG: Yes, and then after that the hymn really does take off. Born with the right to be clean, for example.

E: Of course, the way that verse is written we can't tell exactly who is born with the right to be clean. Grammatically, it turns out to be Jesus, but that can't be what you meant.

BG: It's us, Eccles. I forgot to mention it.

clean Cleo

Born with the right to be clean.

E: Well, we'll wrap this up now. There's another dose of confusion in the last verse with You are the glorious new wine, where I suppose "you" means "we," but it's not worth worrying about.

BG: So, shall we, very slowly, sing the chorus again? Bind us together...

E: Yes, why not? Probably, the only thing that most people remember of this hymn is that it's a real bind.

Comedy vicar

Actually, we like the hymn very much.

Previous entries for the Eccles Bad Hynm Award:

Lord of the Dance.    Shine, Jesus, shine.    Enemy of apathy.    Walk in the Light.
Kum Ba Yah.    Follow me.    God's Spirit is in my heart.    Imagine.    Alleluia Ch-ch.
It ain't necessarily so.    I, the Lord of sea and sky.    Colours of day.    The red flag.
Go, the Mass is ended.    I watch the sunrise.


  1. Many years ago, Priests used to refer to this as "the egg song".

  2. Why's dat, Jaddis? I don't remember any eggs bein harmed in de makin of dis song.

    1. "binding" is non u euphemism for constipating.

  3. Terence Higgins-Trust3 February 2013 at 16:11

    Our version goes:

    Bind us together, with chains and black leather
    and tie us up the bed posts
    Whip us and beat beat us
    And flog us and maltreat us
    Cos we're into S and M

  4. If I need them, can I borrow those ropes for your bruvver? So far he's behavin' himself - must be the absence of 'Holy Smoke' gettin in his eyes xx Jess

    1. Will you be gettin Anti Moly to write for your luvvly blogg as well, Jess?

    2. She ain't offered yet darling eccles. We may have to pass Bosco's post through a spell-checker, to see he isn't under any spells, you see. xx Jess

    3. Well Anti Moly ain't writing for my donkey blog, no matter how woefully short of ideas me and the donkeys get. In fact the very thought of her reading it regularly, as she once claimed, is woeful enough.

  5. darling eccles, your bruvver has made his first post on my blogg - I is off to find the batteries for my calculator xx Jess

  6. ...Funny as usual mr ecclestein...catholicisms version of and now for something completely different....

  7. You pussons jus make my day. That is cewrtainwy part of my spiwrtual nuowrishment. A &note& to Bob:you need to get adventuwrous wiv dose cords/chords.Bwoken chords can be vewry intwestin.But I fink you best cool it wiv de f I mean t-heology and de tie me up-tie me down stuff.

  8. "Born with the right to be clean?"

    Sigh. Also alas.

    As we say in Kentucky, that's as shaky as a dog poopin' peach pits.

  9. “All binding and no loosing makes Jack…” …need some Milk of Magnesia!

  10. "I led them with cords of a man, with bonds of love, And I became to them as one who lifts the yoke from their jaws; And I bent down and fed them"