This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Are you a cultural Christian?

It's a funny thing, Christianity, isn't it? Many people would say it was something to do with belief in Jesus as the Son of God, who died for our sins and rose again (and there's a whole lot more, on which there is not always universal agreement). But some people call themselves Cultural Christians, so what's that all about, eh?

Culture

Culture for Christians (and others).

Here are some test questions to help you decide whether you are Christian, a cultural Christian, or something else entirely.

1. How often do you go to church?
(a) Once a week, maybe more.
(b) Just for christenings, weddings and funerals. But I stand 
there looking superior, and don't join in any of the hymns.
(c) Never. It's a sexist misogynist relic of the dark ages.
Queen and Welby

And what do YOU do, Mr Welby?

2. How do you celebrate Christmas?
(a) I go to church a lot.
(b) I buy hot cross buns and easter eggs, which for some 
reason are in the shops at that time.
(c) I call it Yule or Winterval and dance naked in the snow. 
Dawkins and tree

It's a pure coincidence that I have a tree in my living-room.

3. What do you think of the Bible?
(a) A book of inspired religious writing.
(b) It was compiled by bronze-age goatherds, who couldn't 
read or write, but it has some memorable quotations in it.
(c) Nasty, homophobic, vicious. I prefer to curl up with 
Bertrand Russell.
Comedy vicar

"Nowadays we realise that the Bible was written by bigots."

4. How do science and religion fit together?
(a) Pretty well, really: many of our greatest scientists 
have been religious.
(b) Scientists were forced to be religious, and the best 
ones knew it was all a pretence.
(c) All science produced by religious people is suspect.
Woman levitating

Newton (being religious) made an error in his theory of gravitation.

5. Why are you reading this blog?
(a) For spiritual nourishment.
(b) It is part of our Christian heritage, even if it is a 
blog full of vicious lies.
(c) I'm not. No way. Give me Das Kapital any day.
Hermann Goering

When I hear the phrase "Cultural Christian," I reach for my Zuhlsdorf.

If you replied mostly (a), then you are probably some sort of Christian (but not Giles Fraser). If (b), then you are a cultural Christian, and will no doubt spend much of your time insulting real Christians. If (c), then you may be trying a little too hard, Giles.

13 comments:

  1. darling eccles, do you think Giles Fraser is trying a bit too hard, or just a bit trying? xx Jess

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  2. Is it heretical to use Green Day to make a point about the culture? http://www.lisagraas.com/blog/archives/5310

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  3. 5::::why are you reading this blog?
    A very good question
    It might be to lighten my heart, unbend mongst like-minded friends, or worsen my indigestion

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  4. ..I is weeding this blost so az to avoid lookkin at pitchers of cute magdalenes and to engage boscobiggles and his fwiends on the bigweb in some tea-o-logical cunningversation....

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  5. I don't know much about this new Archbishop of Canterbury, except that he once led an entirely different organisation, but I was surprised to see from your photo how many medals he has.

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    Replies
    1. Love the pic of Goering. befor he gained all the weight.

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  6. Replies
    1. Spiritaul nuorishment, but my secretarry has changed de spellin.

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    2. Eccles, perhaps you could suggest to the company that withdrew their "Virgin Mary" crisps, after protests, that they could re-brand them as "Spiritaul Nuorishment"?

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  7. I is a Capital a Christian, and if anybody sayz I is not I'm goin to get a spell on dem and get The FOE(Friends Of Eccles) aftewr dem.

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  8. Cultural? Who me? I AM NOT in no cults, and beside of dat, I HATE Musicals!

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  9. Cultural Christian? Isn’t that what Dubliners call a ‘Culchie’ in Ireland?

    Or maybe that was ‘bog-trotter’…?

    If the bróg fits…

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