A lovely foot.
Eccles: Leonard, thank you for coming along to talk to us. Now what's all this about lovely feet?
Leonard: It's from Isaiah 52, Eccles. I opened my Bible at random, found those words and noticed that nobody had thought of using them before. So I grabbed them for my hymn.
E: Brilliant idea, Leonard. Let me try doing that (opens Bible). Ah yes, Isaiah 27. And luckily nobody has used these words either!
In that day the Lord with his great and strong sword Shall punish Leviathan, Leviathan! The piercing serpent, yes, the crooked serpent - In the sea! In the sea!
CHORUS: In the sea! In the sea! In the se-e-e-ea! In the sea!
E (doubtfully): But what does it mean?
L: Who cares? It looks like you've got a certain hit there, Eccles.
E: Still, let's discuss your hymn. What's this chorus of yours? It sounds like "I got drains," sung in an American accent. Ah got drains!
CHORUS: I got drains! I got drains! I got dra-a-a-ains! I got drains!
L: If you look at the actual words, Eccles, it's "Our God reigns," and...
E: Our God? Is there more than one, then? No, do go on.
L: We sing those three simple words a total of 24 times in the hymn. Can I claim the record?
E: Possibly, Leonard, I don't remember offhand. But would it be fair to say that, all things considered, reading between the lines, and so on, that you are trying to convey the secret message Our God reigns?
L: Drat, you guessed it. It was suppose to be a subliminal idea concealed in the hymn.
E: Oh, by now I'm quite good at picking these up.
L: Well, shall I write you another hymn before I go? (Opens Bible). Aha! Isaiah 37.
Because thy rage against me, and thy tumult, Came to mine ears, mine ears, Therefore will I put my hook into thy nose - In thy nose, In thy nose!
CHORUS: In thy nose! In thy nose! In thy no-o-o-ose! In thy nose!
E: Magnificent! Leonard E. Smith, thank you very much.
Previous entries for the Eccles Bad Hynm Award:
Lord of the Dance.
Shine, Jesus, shine.
Enemy of apathy.
Walk in the Light.
Kum Ba Yah. Follow me. God's Spirit is in my heart. Imagine. Alleluia Ch-ch.
It ain't necessarily so. I, the Lord of sea and sky. Colours of day. The red flag.
Go, the Mass is ended. I watch the sunrise. Bind us together, Lord.