This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday 17 September 2014

Pope Francis vows to promote more useless people

In a striking breach with Catholic tradition, Pope Francis has promised to demote the reliable, orthodox clergy who hold very senior positions in the Roman Curia, and to appoint a number of useless time-servers instead. It is believed that in the more egalitarian church of Francis, one should not be able to achieve high office through an accident of birth, such as being wise, efficient or hard-working.

Danneels

In comes Cardinal Danneels - the token idiot on the Synod.

There is an injection of new blood in the form of Cardinal Danneels of Belgium, whose track record is so sordid that we cannot even think of anything amusing to say about him. Suffice it to say that he missed out on several more promising careers, such as clown, village idiot, and crash-test dummy, where his unique talents might have flourished.

Burke

Out goes Burke - too clever and orthodox.

Cardinal Burke, on the other hand, has been known to confuse Pope Francis by quoting from learned theologians such as Augustine and Aquinas, he has actually read the Vatican II documents, and he shows no interest whatsoever in football. Thus he is being demoted, and will now become Patron of the Knights of Malta. This is basically a non-job, which involves making tea for the knights whenever they drop in to the Vatican, and occasionally popping over to Malta in order to be patronizing.

Dolan

Cardinal Dolan: so useless he must be in line for a big job.

We have long appreciated the talents of Cardinal Dolan, the hero of New York; the fact that his imbecility level has now reached "critical" must surely mean that a senior position is soon to come his way. Vice-pope with special responsibility for organizing Gay Pride parades in the Vatican? Who knows?

But where is England in all this? Do we not have senior clergy to match the expertise of Danneels and Dolan? I find it hard to think of anyone useless, I really do.

Nichols and Smith

Put in a good word for us, won't you, Eccles?

12 comments:

  1. Goodbye cruel world
    I'm off to join the circus
    gonna be a broken-hearted clown

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    Replies
    1. The clowns of Stephen King fame have taken over the institutions of the Church.

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  2. The latest news is that Martin Luther is going to be posthumously appointed head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Fate, while The Congregation for the Causes of Santas goes to Fr Nicholas Grinner. We await the news for The Apostolic Penitentiary which may well be given to Cardinal Herma Jesty and the Congregation for Disciplining The Sacraments goes to Cardinal Sin.

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  3. As Archbishop Thomas Cranmer would have said - "You see, I was right all along."

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  4. In complete contrast we, here in Australia, have just heard that Bishop Anthony Fisher OP from the diocese of Paramatta is to replace Cardinal Pell as Archbishop of Sydney. We couldn't have had a finer replacement. He is indeed an excellent choice. Deo Gratias.

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    Replies
    1. Very confusing having a good Fisher in Australia and a bad Fisher in Blackfen...

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    2. A Fisher who advocates more WYD antics and self-actualisation. very good indeed. Just what NO wants for a more public display of I, me, me, mine.

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  5. Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.

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  6. The message of 'inclusion' of the useless has been taken to heart by one English diocese that is holding a 'festival' next year.

    http://www.abdiocese.org.uk/festival50

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  7. What do you make of the appointment of Mgr. Marcus Stock to the diocese of Leeds Bruvver Eccles?

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    Replies
    1. Don't know much about him, except that he's a pal of ++Vin and he attended an ACTA meeting in Leeds as an "observer".
      http://ecclesandbosco.blogspot.fr/search/label/Marcus%20Stock

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  8. Thanks Bruvver Eccles. The only thing I know about him is that he is/was part of the Eccleston Square mob. Of course I am not exactly part of the UK scene these days. He did send me a hundred pounds by mistake a couple of years ago. The mistake was that this money was only for those priests "in good standing" who are ex-seminarians of the former English College, Lisbon. I qualified as an ex-seminarian but I am not a priest "in good standing" since I never reached Ordination. I sent the money back and I did receive a thank you note! This is an annual payout from money which accrued after the selling off of the assets of that College in Lisbon. It was argued that it should go to all who had studied there but this idea was knocked back but I seemed to have slipped through the net for the first payment. I owned up and repaid the money. He was the one who replied to me.

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