This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 30 January 2016

The Book of St Richard, Chapter 24

Continued from Chapter 23

1. And it came to pass that Richard was invited to the prestigious Northeast Conference on Science and Skepticism; this was because many years ago he had been a scientist, and he was in those days still a skeptic, or at least a sceptic.

2. And he accepted with alacrity, saying, "It will enable me to rub shoulders with many luminaries of whom nobody has ever heard, not to mention Michael Mann, he who hath produced a 'hockey stick' graph showing that the world will be consumed by fire if we do not shower gold upon him."

3. "And, although I shall fly to New York, that I may claim the miles of air, yet shall I pretend that I walked from Oxford, so that my giant footprints of carbon be hidden from the gaze of Mann."

Chanty Binx

Cometh the Nemesis of Richard.

4. But it was not to be, for there came into Richard's life a woman named Chanty Binx.

5. This was a woman with red hair, not unlike the fair Mrs Dawkins; well, at least, if the fair Mrs Dawkins had decided to dress up for Hallowe'en to scare the breeches off Richard.

6. She was known as an example of the hard-line feminist that screameth abuse, hateth men, and sweareth like the fabled fishwives of the Gate of Billings.

7. So it came to pass that on the Tube of Yew there appeared a song that mocked extreme Islamists and feminists.

8. And Richard found pleasure in this song by a fellow-atheist, and recommended it to his disciples.

Islam and feminism

The shanty that mocketh Chanty.

9. However, as scripture hath it, "Stick not thy nose into a nest of hornets, lest it be stung until it swelleth like the hippopotamus of the Nile."

10. And Richard was told that he was encouraging rape and death threats.

11. For why did he not confine himself to attacking the followers of Christ, who deserved all they got?

12. Thus Richard's invitation to the fleshpots of New York was withdrawn; for, in the words of the prophet Necsas, "Unpopular and offensive views are fine, but if we disagree with them they become divisive, counterproductive, hate speech."

NECSS gets cold feet

Richard is banned from the "world's biggest bores" conference. [click to enlarge]

13. And some said "NECSS hath got cold feet. Doth Michael Mann know of this climatological phenomenon?"

14. But Richard was sore exasperated and said unto himself, "Atheists! Are ye not sick of them? CURSES, WHAT AM I SAYING???"

Dawkins wounded

Richard is wounded.

To be continued.

4 comments:

  1. Funny that this subject (science and skeptics) is mentioned today. Just yesterday I had a book sent to a friend - Valedictorian of our class, molecular geneticist and evolutionary anthropologist who is finishing her doctorate at Cambridge on the evolution of religion - or something. I think in the past she has spoken at the NCSS...but not completely certain. She's on the "Tube of Yew" speaking at a conference somewhere in the past.

    She is lovely and gracious, thoughtful and kind and needs to put her brilliant mind to better use - that of the glory of God Who gave her that great mind.

    So I sent her Joseph Sobran's (RIP) new book, Subtracting Christianity. By page 16 my friend will be converted, or at least made to rethink her Skeptic beliefs...or at least take that first step down the road to Truth.

    I told her that the book will help her finish her degree - or not. Richard needs the book also....Sobran's mind against Dawkins'.

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  2. I presume that pic of Baron Sir Richard of the Dawkins looking a bit battered(!) was taken shortly after he'd had an Encounter of the First Kind with a frozen haddock wielded by its unhappy wife/partner/significant other/complimentary equal? Maybe now he'll agree that the female of the species really is deadlier than the male.

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  3. Absolutely brilliant. "The shanty that mocketh Chanty" LOL! Genius.

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  4. There was a Dawkins interview in The Times today in which he explained his disdain for the feminism which gives Islam a 'pass' to mistreat females without comment. I'm glad that the news of this strange alliance is finally 'out there' and look forward to the feminist logical acrobatics in providing an answer, should they deign to provide one.

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