This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Anti-religious extremism among tsars

The government has announced an enquiry into anti-religious extremism among tsars (or should that be "czars"?) These are people with no particular qualities - although often they seem to have had peerages thrown at them - appointed to look into matters of concern to the prime minister and her (or his) cronies.

Tsar Nicholas II

A traditional tsar - not radicalised.

Thus we had Alan Sugar (for American readers, think of Donald Trump, only without the charm and diplomatic skills) as Enterprise Tsar, Mary Portas (the "queen of shops") as High-street Tsar, and so on. However, many people are worried about the radicalisation and anti-religious extremism shown by Louise Casey, the Integration Tsar.

Louise Casey

A modern tsar - is the chamber-pot on her head a symbol of radicalism?

Thus the government is expected to appoint a new Integration Tsar, whose job it will be to help the old one adapt to life in modern Britain, where a significant number of people are religious and do not want bossy time-servers telling them what they are allowed to believe.

For example, Tsarina Casey decided that (in her opinion) Catholic schools should not be allowed to teach that same-sex marriage is wrong - well, the party line is that it is not so much wrong, as impossible. Try telling Churchill, Thatcher or even Theresa May (a few years ago) that a man wanted to "marry" another man, and the jaw would drop, a "you're joking" would form on the lips, and - in the case of the first two - a strict memo would be issued asking that all nutters be henceforth sent packing by the doorman.

We don't have a lot of time for Mr Mohammed on this blog, but we understand that his views on same-sex "marriage" were similar to those of Christ's - only with added torture and mutilation. Well, we have to accept these different nuances in the interests of equality and diversity.

ecumenical matter

An all-purpose attempt to find common ground between religions.

The new Integration Tsarina will not be expected to wear a chamber-pot on her head, but she will be charged with investigating organizations that have a problem accepting Christian teaching. These may include the National Secular Society (approx. 5 members), the British Humanist Association (3 members, or 4 if you count the hamster), the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Ranting and Screaming (oh, at least 2), the Tony Flannery Support Group (1 member), the Friends of Tina Beattie (500 online members, of which 495 are traddy sockpuppets) and the Jesuits (far too many). We wish the new tsarina well.

Tsarina Alexandra

The new Integration Tsarina.


  1. Hey, she really DID look kinda like Janet Suzman!
    (Save the Liturgy, Save the World)

  2. Talking about royal and regal matters,does anyone know if there are any papal tiaras outside a museum?

  3. Is it tsar, czar, царь, политбюро or one-man (dangerous word, that) politburo?

  4. Catholics need to keep up with the times and stop being so sentimental about a Mums and Dads marriage concept.It is just sooooooo 50s,and politically incorrect.

    What is wrong with two guys getting married? Impossible concept? Only in the minds of Catholics influenced by those anachronisms the OT and NT

    The notorious Roman emporer Caligula, married his slave boy, had him castrated and made him dress as a girl.Historians agreed that he was clinically insane.Now they would be declared Catholic fundamentalists.

    If Caligula were alive today he would just be another member of LGBT group. Nothing special at all.Although using Christians as human torches to light up walkways (precursor to electricity) is as yet ,still socially unacceptable.But who knows?

    Perversion has made progress in leaps and bounds in the last decades.Two males can mix sperm and have a surrogate (a female human mammal )impregnated with it to create a human offspring.
    Saint/Sir Elton and his male wife/husband entered this program and made a modern family

    Welcome to the new normal .. Dr Frankenstein sends his best wishes to Ms Casey for reminding Catholic schools that ssm is an acceptable form of marriage rather than the abomination it is said to be quoted in both those anachronistic quaint books.

    1. I'm easily confused!

      I thought this male marrying male thing automatically cut out women ... 'cos they fancied blokes. So why did Caligula had his slave 'feminised?' Antithesis?

      Perhaps in the next generation they'll all copy Caligula, and homosexual males will start pairing-off with Lesbians ... a sort of self-resolving scenario .... just like the Married Household self-resolved: When marriage fell from fashion it was only ssm that saved the government statistics and restored family values to the Tory party.

      Doesn't do much for the human torches though, they'll remain Carigula's old flames