This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 22 January 2017

Learning from the Anglicans

As a respite from all the excitement in the Catholic church, let's see what the Anglicans have done recently, and whether we can learn from them.

The Scottish Episcopal Church (which is like the Church of England, except that they play the bagpipes and throw cabers around the church) has got itself into trouble with a reading from the Koran at St Mary's Cathedral, Glasgow. The row escalated and one of the Queen's chaplains has resigned.

organ and bagpipes

"How am I supposed to play Bach fugues if you're doing Donald, where's yer troosers?"

Surely that's not a problem? I mean, the Koran reading said that Jesus was not the Son of God, but we have to be tolerant these days, and if that's what the Provost really believes, then there is room for dialogue on this question. Perhaps an Anglican synod will soon be voting for this proposition with a 2/3 majority, as they did a few years ago for the proposition that Jesus got it wrong on the issue of the ordination of women.

Welby and Muslim priest

"Father Shaykh Ibrahim Mogra will be preaching tonight on 'Why Mohammed is better than Jesus'."

As an extra piece of comedy, the notoriously bossy Glasgow police managed to get in on the act, as it was claimed that there was a "hate-crime" issue here, when people complained about the betrayal of Our Lord in a Christian church. Apparently, they should have done the "Glasgow kiss of peace" first, to make it a love-crime.

LATE NEWS: Glasgow Cathedral announces an ecumenical service with worshippers of the Tiger God. As the provost puts it: such events lead to deepening friendships locally, to greater awareness of the things we hold in common, and to dialogue about the ways in which we differ.

Tiger God

No bagpipes, as they'll upset the Tiger God.

The other spiritually nourishing thing to report from the Anglican church is a joint statement on the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, issued by Archbishops Welby and Sentamu. They list some (rather vague) blessings that European Christians have received to which the Reformation directly contributed, although they forget to say anything about the destruction of churches and abbeys.

There is a mention of people being put to death, but you will agree that the following sentence justifies the Reformation in its entirety: Remembering the Reformation should bring us back to what the Reformers wanted to put at the centre of every person's life, which is a simple trust in Jesus Christ.

Henry VIII statue

Justice for Henry VIII at last (and yes, that is a chair-leg).

Readers of this blog are generally cultivated people, and will remember this passage from The Man from U.N.C.L.E. - I'm sorry, I mean A Man for all Seasons, in which Henry VIII tries to explain the Reformation to (not yet St) Thomas More.

Henry: Now, mark you, Thomas. does a man need a pope to tell him what to do? This one has sent me an insulting message, telling me that under no circumstances may I marry fair Anne.

Thomas: Indeed, your Majesty, I do not think any pope would dare say otherwise, at least not in our lifetimes.

Henry: Can he not hold a synod, and get his staff to write a document that allows me to marry as many times as I wish?

Thomas: No, I really don't think we'll get very far with that idea, Sire.

Thomas More

A self-absorbed Promethean neo-pelagian gets his come-uppance.

Henry: Thomas, I plan to put a simple trust in Jesus Christ at the centre of every person's life, as advised by Master Cranmer of Canterbury and Master Lee of York.

Thomas: Is that not going too far, your Grace?

Henry: No. So report to the Executioner in the morning, there's a good fellow.


  1. This did make me laugh - thank you!

  2. Unlike many of the cathedrals which are used by the Church of England but are on temporary loan by their rightful owner, St Mary's Cathedral in Glasgow was actually built using Anglican money. However, our bruvvers and sisters who are beholden to Bruvver Calvin did appropriate the Catholic Cathedral in Glasgow and impertinently declare it to be their own. It is that building, St Mungo's, which is correctly referred to as "Glasgow Cathedral" even though the followers of Bruvver Calvin forsook the use of bishops.