This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 23 January 2017

Sister Judy Piranha attends the Women's March

Coo-ee, everyone!!??!! It's Sister Judy Piranha of the Catholic Nuns for Naughtiness back once more!!??!! I'm a disciple of those spiritual GIANTS, Father James Martin SJ ("Hillary" to his closest friends) and Father Dan Horan OFM ("Michelle" to his closest friends), joint patrons of the Order of the 30 Pieces of Silver!!??!!

James Martin and a bald Cynthia Nixon

Two of the greatest thinkers of our times.

Anyway, little Judy was delighted to join her sisters (of both sexes!!??!!) at the March for Death on Saturday!!??!! If you haven't been following this, the problem is that Donald Trump is a DIRTY OLD MAN who says RUDE THINGS!!??!! He HATES women so much that he keeps MARRYING them!!??!! Not like NICE MR CLINTON who merely raped them and assaulted them - everyone knows that dear Bill knew how to give a lady a good time!!??!!

So what is a girl to do, when the American people vote for someone she doesn't like??!!?? Demonstrate!!??!! Stand up for the essential dignity of women by wearing a costume shaped like the naughty bits of a lady!!??!! You wouldn't call us dick-heads!!??!! Quite the opposite, really!!??!!

What other direct action can we take to show that we support democracy ONLY IF it gives the answer we want, sisters??!!?? Perhaps we might even go as far as throwing a traffic cone at a passing policeman!!??!! If we did that, then Trump would be obliged to resign, mark my words!!??!!

old ladies reeling

My sisters showing Trump what they're made of!!??!!

Some people have pointed out that the Women's March wasn't exactly pro-life, and in fact "pro-life" groups were banned!!??!! But "pro-life" means whatever Fr Jim and Fr Dan say it means!!??!! There's NOTHING WRONG with killing a baby, dismembering it, and selling the pieces PROVIDED THAT you do it in a "pro-life" way!!??!! By that, we mean that we respect the baby, whatever its race, colour, creed or sexual orientation may be!!??!!

Then we kill it!!??!!

Sister Fatima of the Middle Eastern branch of Nuns for Naughtiness was delighted to join us on the March!!??!! It's true that when she got home her husband unfortunately flogged her to death, but - hey!?! - the moral is that women have much better rights in the Middle East than we do, and they don't have to put up with BEASTS like Donald Trump!!??!!

Islamic women in chains

Sister Fatima and friends demonstrate against Donald Trump!!??!!

So I have one final message for you:

1. If you're a woman, then Byeeee, and keep the faith!!??!!

2. If you are inter-sex, trans-sex, a member of the order of the 30 pieces of silver, gender-queer, non-binary, duo-decimal or otherwise weird, then Hallelujah to you!!??!!

3. If you're a MAN then BOG OFF you nasty sexist pig!!??!!

man dressed as a nun

Judy Piranha!!??!!


  1. Bruvver Eccles - in your picture at the top of your post, the person on the right looks like the Mekon. If this is sister Piranha, This could explain a lot. Have you got a picture of her sauce boat?

    1. It was supposed to be the luvvly Fr Dan, but I may only have found a lookalike.

  2. Sister Chelsea Bunn here. After being release from chains in the secret cells of St Peter's Ad Vincula Inside the walls (the Vatican prison) I was able to protest against Trump. I am proud to have leaked the secrets of the Vatican before my doctrinal transition. My womb which is rather shriveled is my own. Yet even in my the desert of infidelity I here Bergoglio beckoning me to encounter. Is it a mirage? I pass through the vale of death strewn with the bodies of many dead. One I recognize is the Master of the Knights of Malta. The other bodies nameless priests of the CDF. There are too many to count. I see the symbol of the banana beneath the feet of Bergoglio the merciless. Then I realize its the pill I popped the March.... I am actually in the pond of the Lincoln memorial.