We saw an advert in de local paper sayin dat Cuttley was commin, and advertisin "FREE POT. CANNAPIS FOR EVERY CUSSTOMER". Dey is very fond of Cannapis ruond here, as Damain Thopmson knows, cos he came here last summer to resaerch it.
Anti Moly was very excitted dat de pius saintly pollite culltured devuot and courteuos St Cuttley was commin (she has got a statue of him dat she kisses reggularly). "I gonna get a relick of him," she said, packin her scissors (to cut a lock of hare, or maybe to give him a manic-cure) and a chane saw in case she cuold get a finger or a toe that Cuttley weren't partticularly needin dat day. Dis is a probblem dat saints has, peoples is allways choppin bits off you for souvennirs.
I asked Anti whether Cuttley was gonna be like Tom Jonnes, wiv lotsa excited girls frowing dere underwares at him. "Nope, I is savin dat for when Cradinal Pell comes," she repplied. A lucky escape for Cuttley, I finks.
Dat's Cuttley on his way to de bookshopp in a Cuttleymobile, to protect him from Anti Moly and other fans.
When we got to de bookshopp, dere was a band playin de music "Hale de conqeuring herro comes!" Dis Cuttley chap was very civillised and offered us a glass of Taylor's Vinttage Pot, apparrently it's a drink, and de Cannapies is a sorta little bits of food. Anti Moly got out her chane saw, ready to take some rellics, but Cuttley pollitely declined to cooperrate. "Sorry if I is bein rude to you," he said to Anti Moly, "but I is needin all my bons at de moment. Wuold you like a lock of my hare instedd? I hope I aint bein too discourteuos and outspokken here."
Dis is a pitcher of Cuttley after Anti Moly had finished takin a few locks of his hare. She also got his shirt, but I aint gonna show dat on dis blogg. Dis Cuttley chap he is a laywer, so he can wear a wigg to hide his bladness in court. I fink de jugde aint gonna be so happy if he dont have a shirt on, so I hopes he gotta spare one in his extenssive wardrob.
Anyways, a good time was had by all, and Anti Moly has forgivven Cuttley for an accidental resemblence between her and de gin-sodden Mattron in de book. I expect it was a coincidennce.