Austriala Day

We is cellebratin Austriala Day now, de day when de Brittish first started sendin Anti Moly's ancesstors to Bottany Bay. In fact, dey sent off about 700 poeple at once, as it seemed best to expel de whole village of Lower Collyer where Moly's fambly lived. Dis was cos de poeple of Upper Collyer complaned about de "lewd and sinnful nieghbors we got, wot keeps robbin us blind, and murderin us in our beds, so dat we is pretty fed up wiv it by now."

Dis shows de sort of village scene in Upper Collyer wot was makin poeple feel fed up and finkin dat life was a bit too excittin wiv Moly's fambly aruond.

Of course de aborriginals is less enthusiastic about dis invasoin, dey has a leggend dat de great God Goolagong sent de people of Lower Collyer to dem as a punnishment for dere sins.

Anti Moly bein a culltured pusson, like all Austrialans except Rolf Harrass, was offering to run an Arts Festivall in beuatiful Pottymouth as part of de cellebratoins. Dis was gonna feature:

* Music, a performance of Zellenka's Missa Wofulla, which most definatly aint a Cathlic Mass (unless it's one of dem libberal masses wot some Cathlics like).

* Art, an exhibitoin of paintings of Cradinal Pell. Dis is one dat was done by Andy Warhole, as a pressent for Anti Moly, and she wanted to lend it to de exhibitoin.

* Dance, a new ballet called Yakkety-Sax. Dis is all about ladies chasin after someone wot looks a little bit like Cradinal Pell, but Anti says it comes from her favorite tellevisoin program, Benny Hill, and dat she aint one of de ladies.

* Litterature, Anti Moly readin out extracts from a good book. I asked my Anti what her favourite book was, and she said "It's dis one, it's all abuot me, and I has got de only coppy in de world."

Howevver, de Pottymouth authorrities has turned down Anti Moly's plans for an Arts Festivall, and dey is gonna cellebrate Austriala Day in de tradditoinal manner, wiv lots of drink. Dere is only one word for dis - WOFUL.