I asked Farver Arfur, our visitin preist, what new year revolutions he was gonna make and he got furiuos wiv me. "At 23.21 on December 31st you asked me what new year revolutions I was makin. I see dat you was implying dat my condduct is in some way less dan perfect. Insultin a preist in good stand-in like dat is a gross breech of Catacom Nubmer 2477 of de Cathlic Churhc, and we gonna have to punnish you. Does you want to be executted or burnt at de steak?"
Well I aint a Cathlic, so Farver Arfur aint got de morral high gruond here, and he had to give up de idea of testin out de new ax what he was givven for Chritsmas.
So I asked de same quetsion of Anti Moly, and she gave me a strange repply, viz. "Yer heid's fou o mince. So why wiz awa' an bile yer heid red carded?" Sometimes she finks she got Scotch ancesstry - she says she is rellated to sevveral clans, such as de Bells, de Dewars, de Famuos Gruose, de Glenfidditch and de Macalan. Dis belieif comes on specailly at de start of de year, cos she can cellebrate Hoggmany, which is when Scotch poeple goes to sleep for a week.
Of cuorse de Austrialans has also got a good tradditoin of makin whisky, dey got names like Wallabby's Armpit, Glen Didgeridoo and Pottymouth Hag Distillery.
Eventaully we persauded Anti Moly to make a new year revolution, to be nice to everryone. "You is right, Eccles, you nubmskull," she said. "From now on I aint gonna call poeple woeful traddy Cathlic sockpoppets, or at least not more than twenty times a day." Well, it's a start, I suppose.
We aint heard much from my bruvver Bosco (Pop Bozodict) lately. He had some trubble writtin a pappal bull what didnt want to be written, and is now restin for a while.
We finks it may be one of dem Cyberbulls wot we is allways bein warned abuot.