This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 1 January 2012

New Year

Well a happy new year to everrybody from us in de Calumny Chappel wot is saved.

I asked Farver Arfur, our visitin preist, what new year revolutions he was gonna make and he got furiuos wiv me. "At 23.21 on December 31st you asked me what new year revolutions I was makin. I see dat you was implying dat my condduct is in some way less dan perfect. Insultin a preist in good stand-in like dat is a gross breech of Catacom Nubmer 2477 of de Cathlic Churhc, and we gonna have to punnish you. Does you want to be executted or burnt at de steak?"

Arfur de executoiner

Well I aint a Cathlic, so Farver Arfur aint got de morral high gruond here, and he had to give up de idea of testin out de new ax what he was givven for Chritsmas.

So I asked de same quetsion of Anti Moly, and she gave me a strange repply, viz. "Yer heid's fou o mince. So why wiz awa' an bile yer heid red carded?" Sometimes she finks she got Scotch ancesstry - she says she is rellated to sevveral clans, such as de Bells, de Dewars, de Famuos Gruose, de Glenfidditch and de Macalan. Dis belieif comes on specailly at de start of de year, cos she can cellebrate Hoggmany, which is when Scotch poeple goes to sleep for a week.

Moly bein Scottish

Of cuorse de Austrialans has also got a good tradditoin of makin whisky, dey got names like Wallabby's Armpit, Glen Didgeridoo and Pottymouth Hag Distillery.

Eventaully we persauded Anti Moly to make a new year revolution, to be nice to everryone. "You is right, Eccles, you nubmskull," she said. "From now on I aint gonna call poeple woeful traddy Cathlic sockpoppets, or at least not more than twenty times a day." Well, it's a start, I suppose.

We aint heard much from my bruvver Bosco (Pop Bozodict) lately. He had some trubble writtin a pappal bull what didnt want to be written, and is now restin for a while.

Cyber bull

We finks it may be one of dem Cyberbulls wot we is allways bein warned abuot.


  1. A happy new year to you, from someone wot is also ingongito xx

  2. Fanks, ingongito, whoevver you is.

  3. I fink it I'd better sta incong-ito - but I had to say yor blog is sooo funny xx

  4. Hi Ecclies, you is not ingongito, only I is
    incongito. What a privilege to be blocked by the Damian Thompson bog at the same time as you. I was going to do my usual trick of getting a new IP address and going straight back in, but I looked in at the nonsense there this morning and the reams of drivel from DeborahVomits and MinnieToss really made me wonder why I've wasted my time trying to talk with some of these dullards. Molybadwrite is the most boring woman I have ever encountered in my life! I wouldn't want to talk to her if she was the only person left in the world (a horrid nightmare scenario...)

    I think the days of a satirical response to the anti-Catholic bigots are over. They just carry on regardless and Thompson doesn't comment as a trad Catholic any more anyway. And the tedious nitpicking over typos, accents etc. does my head in. What a bunch of fifteen year-olds.

    I shall remember your stuff with great affection, and may even drop in here from time to time. My New Year's resolution was going to be an attempt to ditch the blog anyway. As jh is fond of reminding us, it's an addiction. Getting out is wise.

    Pax Ecclies

  5. Happy new year from an old queen who can't be bothered to log into her Jadis account.

    I now only bother to read the Damnedian blog to allow me to follow this one, and to confuse Arfur by recommending the odd post where he refrains from outright modernism and calumny. Your treatment has been disgraceful.

  6. Fanks, rabit and Jaddis, I is currantly goin frew a bit of a matrydom at de hands of certian poeple, but if you wants to be saved, keep readin.

  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  8. Ullo, Bosco my sweet bruvver. We sure is missin you at Damain's blogg.