We asked what other programmes were in the BBC3 pipeline, and obtained some hilarious answers.
Seeing the lighter side of Jimmy Savile's crimes.
One "very, very funny" comedy that BBC3 is pleased to add to its portfolio is Lucky Jim, which explores the lighter side of child abuse. A BBC3 spokesman commented, "Our writer has come up with another brilliant comedy in the tradition of Swift, Wilde and Wodehouse; we see his main character, Jim, getting involved in a succession of hilarious sex romps!"
Another rib-tickling show that is sure to go down well is Yes, sir, that's my baby, set in an abortion clinic. This is guaranteed to provide "a laugh a minute!" Think of Fawlty Towers, but with the hotel replaced by a clinic, and with Basil replaced by a comic surgeon!
Ahoy there, Shipman!
We are also looking forward to Ahoy there, Shipman! and Go, West! in which the fun-filled murders of Harold Shipman and Fred West are recreated in a brilliant series of giggle-packed scripts, which will have you rolling in the aisles. We are hoping that the "alternative" comedian (the sort you don't expect to laugh at) Ricky Gervais will agree to take the part of Harold Shipman.
You'll also be chuckling at Mum, I'm starving!, which is another BBC3 flagship comedy, set in the West African famine. With a galaxy of guest stars appearing - and disappearing - every week!
Hans and Helmut.
Finally, BBC3 goes into comedy territory that has never been fully explored, as it broadcasts Arbeit Macht Frei, starring Hans and Helmut, two lovable concentration camp guards who seem to be having trouble with their gas chambers. It's described as "a brilliant double act worthy of the Two Ronnies!"
Yes, in these days of alternative comedy, it is now BBC3 that leads the world, bringing us hours of fun-filled viewing, as they encourage us to laugh at topics that were previously off-limits, and which might even have been found upsetting by sensitive viewers (ridiculous, eh?)
I'm confused. I think someone's being satirical here, but I can't work out if it's you or the BBC3 press release. They both seem equally ridiculous. Can you help me out here?
ReplyDeleteJust for change, I'm being satirical, and BBC3 thinks it's being funny. I hope that helps.
DeleteAh! Thank you. It's so hard to tell with all this "edgy" humour whether it's not just a gigantic piss-take. I'm sure BBC3 are entirely serious about their attempts to be funny.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Just seen your Twitter exchange with a "leader writer and columnist for the Times". Yet another reason to have nothing to do with that disgusting rag.
ReplyDeleteI am really cheesed off, Eccles, as I have submitted several excellent story ideas to BBC3, but got the cold shoulder. How could they turn these down?
ReplyDelete"Eyeless in Gaza"
Mustapha Armhead is a blind firework maker living in Jabalia with his partner "Comical" Ali, a chef, and guide dog, Rothschild. Plotlines include Mustapha finding out that Ali had been responsible for accidentally muddling up polonium and halal polony sausage for Yassar Arafat's last birthday feast. There will be an ongoing gag about his accidentally releasing fireworks near the border with Israel. The Christmas special will see him making a trip to Bethlehem to referee the traditional fight between the Armenian Orthodox and not so orthodox friars at the Church of the Nativity (Blind Ref ---- geddit?). It all ends badly when comedy villain Mahatma overhears Mustapha taking a telephone order for some fireworks for a garden party at the Pallotine Sisters' Convent, and vows revenge.
"Common Porpoise"
A shy marine biologist, Micky, exiled to South America after an accident with a flamethrower singed Richard Dawkins' eyebrows, tries to erect an underwater fence in the Bermuda Triangle, to protect her molluscs from marauding Christians. One day she descends to check it and finds an elderly biology professor with some agreeable friends sitting on it, drinking coffee and claiming to be hiding from a gin soaked Australian harpy. Ricky Gervais to play the Comedy Llama (Markus Dribble). They team up to save the world's aquatic fauna from being wiped out by the Latin Mass Society. Episodes include a visit by Fr Poof and on his yacht "The Saucy Seascout", when his friend Fr AS decides to re-order the bulkhead en route and floods the liturgy with bilgewater. It all ends badly when the fence develops Ash dieback disease.
"Shed tears of laughter"
Brash flash smash hit comedy with Phil the Phlake, who loses his way back from the rotary drier in Jadis's garden, and ends up in Helpmaboob's shed by mistake, accidentally releasing a dangerous white rabbit. Shades of "Kind Hearts and Coronets" as one man plays many comedy parts (Daryl, Button Moon, Philomena and others too numerous to mention) while wearing ladies' underwear. Guest appearances by Sister Muriel, and some well oiled Sisters of Exxon. It all ends badly with Jadis's husband changing the password on the wifi router, silencing Phil forever.
I used to write comedies for London fringe theatre in the late 1970s, but luckily the appalling nature of the comedy material and the savaging reviews of the critics cannot be easily seen, as this was before the internet. Eat your hearts out, stalkers.
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ReplyDeletewot about a comedy set in an undertakers where it gets confused with a butcher's? Oh no that's been done!
ReplyDelete