This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 4 November 2012

New Bond Film praised by Vatican

The new James Bond film, Stonefall, has been praised in enthusiastic terms by the Vatican: indeed, it is believed that the Pope has already watched it three times.

The film features agent Keith O'Brien - also known as O.O.Brien - who is sent on a dangerous mission by his boss, codenamed "B," who replaced the previous head, "J.P.," about seven years ago.


Agent O.O.Brien. Note the radio transmitter disguised as a pectoral cross.

Before starting his mission, O.O.Brien goes to see the eccentric Cardinal Q, who provides him with a Biretta 418, a bullet-proof cope, and a supply of truth drug for extracting Confessions. He also equips him with a large crozier, which can be used as a sword-stick.

Q with crozier

Q demonstrates the use of the sword-stick.

O.O.Brien is sent to confront the sinister Stonefall, an organization which aims to break up society from within by destroying the institution of marriage. The mysterious Rosa Klegg is allied with them, having already infiltrated the British Government, and following her lead they refer to all their enemies as "By-Gods." O.O.Brien is soon Enemy Number One as far as Stonefall is concerned.

Rosa Klegg

Rosa Klegg, Head of Operations for LIBDEM.

One twist in the plot is that Giles "The Vicar" Fraser, first thought to be working for the allied organization COE, turns out to be on the side of Stonefall, and against the By-Gods.

Well, in the end O.O.Brien lives to fight another day, but his adventures are not over, as it then turns out that another evil organization called T.A.B.L.E.T. is directly threatening "B" himself.

Pepinster broadcasts a threat

"B," change your teaching on abortion, divorce, and same-sex marriage or T.A.B.L.E.T. will destroy your missal-guidance systems. Oh, and has anyone seen my white cat?

Warning: not suitable for children under the age of 16.


  1. Replies
    1. Sister Mac also suggests that it should be pronounced "Double-O.Brien."

  2. After all, you only live twice - though TABLET might disagree xx Jess

  3. Clebrev Fraser will be thrilled at the coverage, it might get him more votes when he fulfils his purpose in life and finds himself in the jungle with Sarah from Girls Allowed, at 72 year old ex footballer and a Max Clifford client who was briefly friends with a cabinet minister.

    What worries me is that Tina B-Team will think you're serious.

  4. T.A.B.L.E.T. being "Take Action Because Lang's Expelled Tina"?

  5. I thought T.A.B.L.E.T. meant:
    Trendies Against Benedict: Let's Elect Tina

  6. dere Eccles,
    Isn't it charitable to let by-gods be by-gods? So is watching the film an indulgence, and if so, to whom?

  7. It is reported that O.O. Brien was stirred to action and was not shaken by the machinations of the Stone Tablet.

    But who is to be the Brien Girl in this? Given that the Brien Girl never survives the episode, could it be T…?

    Enquiring minds want to know.


  8. Sultry Sufi belly dancer Karen Al-Armstrong, as a jihadist secret agent?