This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 21 July 2012

Evidence for Creationism found

Astounding new archaeological evidence has just been found by workmen in Iraq laying the foundations for a new Tesco superstore. This may prove once and for all that the book of Genesis is literally true, and not just the allegorical legend that most Christians believe it to be.

To-do list

God's to-do list

The first artefact that came to light was a to-do list dated 23rd October 4004 B.C., which clearly shows God's intentions for the first week of Creation. We do not have space to reproduce it all here, but it clearly backs up the Genesis narrative, even going so far as to say: Day 7 - the weekend (Hoorah!) Maybe a day trip to Bridlington?

God's holiday resort

Bridlington - is this where God spent His first rest day?

Perhaps the most controversial part of the book of Genesis is the Garden of Eden story, but some other relics dug up (curiously, in the area which will become the Tesco fruit department) include a strange-looking apple core with toothmarks in it. There is also the skeleton of a large snake, together with a microphone and recording system. This indicated that not only could the serpent talk, it was actually a singer of some ability, for it had produced a sampler CD (no, not on the Apple label, that would be anachronistic) on which it was singing various songs in a sibilant voice.

Apples and oranges

Does the Devil have all the best tunes?

Digging a bit deeper, the workmen came across a flaming sword, now extinguished, with the label on it "Health and Safety Warning - Only to be Used by Trained Angels." It is believed that this also has something to do with the Genesis narrative.

Excavations are still continuing, and we hope to be able to report on them in a future blog posting. We may also doorstep Rowan Williams, the Pope, the Chief Rabbi, Richard Dawkins, Tom Cruise, and other learned theologians to obtain their views on these sensational findings.

BREAKING NEWS: the workmen have just found some discarded under-clothing, apparently made from hard-wearing Figleafene (TM). Could this have belonged to Adam and Eve?


A family snapshot found at the site, possibly taken by God


  1. The workmen building the new Tesco store were alerted when a checkout machine blared out: "Unexpected archeological evidence in the bagging area."

  2. darling eccles - another classic. I see from Reuters that they have found a spare rib on site. xx Jess

    1. We has just dug up a tellegram from de Queen wishin Methuselah a happy 900th birfday. Lookin for Naoh's ark next.

    2. darling eccles, the real unholy grial would be de telegram from anti moly tellin de Queen 'dat's woeful' - but even Damein can't fix that xx Jess