This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

De relicks of Anti Moly

I aint blogged about my Anti Moly recently, but reggular readers will know dat she was put in a care home after she bit de postman in de leg (a misunderstandin cuased by drinkin too much hair restorrer). It's OK we now has a new postman, and so dey said dat it was time to release Anti Moly.


A team of postmen preparing to deliver a letter to Anti Moly

Anti Moly's time in de care home was a little trubbled, but we aint gonna mentoin that.

Care home

Anti Moly's care home after anuvver misunderstandin

De team at Castle Thopmson was very pleased to welcome Anti Moly back, and Will Heaven de Butler invited her to try a new cocktail he had invented, consistin of gin, Delingpol anti-freeze, fresh ferret-blood, and a slice of lemon.

Damain himself is also back home, but dey keeps him in a dark room, only lettin him out once a week to write bloggs about addictoin. We hears loud groans from his room, "Cristina, dey all hates me, you is my only friend," as Muvver Odone de cook brings him his pizza.

"Well, you may be right, Damain," replies Muvver Odone, who aint one to tell lies.

Now we aint yet got to de subject of de blogg, but de story is dat Anti Moly frew her false teef out of de window at a passing Cathlic preist. He had come to interview Damain for De Tabloid, a well-known Cathlic comic full of silly hearsays pretendin to be Cathlic doctrin.

Alas, I aint got a photo of Anti Moly's false teef, but here is an artist's impressoin.

False teeth

Anti Moly's false teef (artist's impressoin)

We was horrified to see dat de preist, when he recovered consciuosness, cried out "Dis is a gift from de Lord," and took the teef away wiv him. Apparently dem Cathlics like veneratin relics, and de sacred teef of Anti Moly is even now bein taken round de country, so dat poeple can pray to dem.

Apparently, de teef is so used to sayin "Woeful," "Sockpoppet," and "Such is life eh" dat dey can now say dese spiritaul phrases even when dey aint in de mouf of my belloved Anti. Dis may be described as a miracule, and maybe my Anti will be saved after all.

Anti Moly is drownin her sorrows in de usual way, and stayin up late to insult poeple on Damain's latest blogg (which, surprisingly, is about addictoin again). We has ordered some new false teef from de Pottymouth Crocodile Centre, where she got de last ones, and dey will soon arrive in de post, if any postman is brave enuogh to delliver em.


Relliquarry containin Anti Moly's false teef, decorated wiv St George and de Dragon


  1. I would like to venerate the False Teeth of St Moly by kneeling in front of them for twenty-four hours non-stop. Would I be allowed to bring a chamber pot into the chapel in case I need to do a small wee?

  2. Is the dragon symbolic of anti moly? I hope the teeth don't try to gnash anyone of their own accord - if they speaks the scared words like 'woeful' perhaps they bite on their own too? Be careful darling eccles, even a saved pusson might be at risk. Perhaps damain can fix things?

  3. Eccles

    Do you have any relics of St Cuttley available? As they have now abolished St Christopher medals, I need some sort of spiritaul talisman to accompany me on my annual trip to Florence - as my husband is not good at map reading.

    1. Ullo Jaddis, Anti Moly has got several cushoins stuffed with St Cuttley's hair, wot she shaved off when he came to do a book singing.

      Anti Moly is not shaved, only Cuttley is shaved.