Empereur Hollande plans his campaign for "le mariage homosexuel."
FH: Eccles, mon vieux! KISS!
E: Please don't do that. It's a bit too French for me.
FH: Eh bien, watch yourself, mon brave, or I shall have to ask M. L'Inspecteur Clouseau to come in and re-educate you with his mighty baton.
Empereur Hollande instructs his elite police force in the best way of tackling demonstrators.
E: Now, votre Majesté, I gather you've been having a little trouble with manifestations against your plans for same-sex marriage?
FH: Nothing serious, Eccles, mon chère ami. A million here, a million there. It's easily dealt with - a little tear gas for the enfants de la patrie, and a few coups de pieds for the adults. Bonus points if you knock down a priest. The sans-culottes of 1789 were fighting for this moment.
E: Of course your country has a good record of protecting children, doesn't it? Wasn't there a little prince called Louis-Charles Capet, whom you bumped off in 1795, at the age of 10?
A dangerous ten-year-old.
FH: Ah yes, one of the high points of the Revolution. I've always felt that this was a particular moment of la gloire de la France. And now we are working towards another great moment.
E: What moment would that be, Sire?
FH: Equal marriage! No longer will we be constrained by morality, common sense or decency! Mes citoyens will be able to marry whoever they like, whenever they like. Family life - who needs it?
E: Well, not you, evidently. I gather that Ségolène wasn't Royal enough for you, and you ran off with Denis Trierweiler's wife instead?
I've realised that you're not Royal enough for me.
FH: Of course! L'état, c'est moi, as I always say.
E: You must be very proud when your police force assaults unarmed priests, whose only fault is that they object to your legislation?
FH: Yes, I'm enjoying every minute of it. Vive la France! Vive la laïcité! Vive les perversions!
Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour! The garçons en bleu bravely assault a monk.
(The full video is here.)
M. le President: “…or as my good friend Dante used to say: ”L’homosexualité! Toujours, l’homosexualité…!”
ReplyDeleteUn laïc: “That was Danton…”
M. le President: “Him, aussi…”
Sacrebleu !!!
ReplyDeleteLiberté pour tous les poufs!!
Egalité sauf pour les mères de famille!!
Fraternité avec tous ceux qui adorent l'enculade, et un brave "allez vous faire foutre" aux saligauds catho et qu'on les fich tous en prison !!!
Allons enfants de la Parent-1-ie
Le jour du cul est arrivé !
Contre nous de la famille
L'étendard moral est levé
Entendez-vous dans nos campagnes
Mugir ces féroces mamans?
Ils viennent jusque dans vos bras
Accuser vos pédés, vos PACsés!
Aux armes CRS
Formez vos bataillons
Marchons, marchons
Qu'un sang trop pur
Abreuve nos bâtons
Que veut cette horde d'hétéros
De votants, de contribuables?
Pour qui ces honnêtes pancartes
Ces mots dès longtemps préparés?
Pédés, pour nous, ah! quel outrage
Quels transports il doit exciter?
C'est nous qu'on ose méditer
De rendre à l'antique mariage!
Quoi ces cohortes citoyennes!
Feraient la loi dans nos Bars Gay!
Quoi! ces phalanges provinciales
Terrasseraient nos fils efféminés!
Grand Dieu! par ces mamans entraînés
Nos désirs immoraux se taieraient
Les simples familles deviendraient
Le rayon des destinées.
Does I get the impressoin dat you speaks very good French, bruvver Jabs?
Deletedarling eccles, congratulations on the scoop - the new Frog national anthem - bet the hair-dresser would be tearing out his hair if he had any xx Jess
DeleteJust been singin Jabba's luvvly song - it makes more sense dan de origginal.
DeleteHollande's next projet de loi is equal marriage rights for animals, plants and insex.
ReplyDeleteFunny name for a frenchman...holland....is he really french? He enjoyss extra-marrital affairs so he might be.
ReplyDeleteCher Monsieur,
ReplyDeleteComment osez-vous malmené chaussé sur notre Constitution française et faire des blagues à bas prix au détriment de la glorieuse révolution! Si un homme veut se marier avec un hippopotame, qui êtes-vous pour dicter les mystères merveilleux de l'amour?
Dégoûté d'Evreux
The priest is really lucky to get beaten up in La belle France, if it was over here in the UK he would then get a writ for damages when le flic broke a finger nail....
ReplyDelete