"I have nothing to offer..."
Sir Mervyn King, governor of the Bank, announced the plan today. From 2016, Nichill will be portrayed on the £5 note along with a picture of Westminster, the scene of so many of his triumphs.
It is expected that people will soon start to refer to the £5 note as "Nichols," which is, curiously, how Americans refer to their 5-cent coin. It is believed that the two will soon be worth roughly the same.
Mervyn King went on to hint that other church leaders may feature on future banknotes. "Welby, Sacks, ... why even Kieran Conry or Giles Fraser could be chosen!" he quipped.
Vinston Nichill himself received the news humbly: "In the battle for a red hat, this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
Happy citizens in Warwick Street, the scene of one of Vinston's greatest triumphs.