This is me, Eccles
Saturday, 16 July 2011
De miraccle of de fishes
I found Bosco in de garden, he had set a wild bush on fire and was chattin wiv it, tellin it dat he was chossen by God to be saved, and he was goin to libberate his peopel (dat's me and Grate-Anti Moly). He's always a kind bruvver. But de burnin bush werent very talkkative just then, so Bosco decided to come in from de garden.
Bosco have his moments when de concusion aint too bad, and dis morning he said "Eccles, let's git some fish for de pond in de garden". So he made a tellyphone call and a big lorry came up and dellivered a parccel, it said "DANGER! PIRAHNA FISH!" I left em to put de fish in de pond, as I had to go and see Anti Moly just den, she was screemin "Sockpoppet" out of de window at a funerral procesion goin by in de street. She thouoght dey mihgt be Cathlics, and she likes to keep in pracctise.
A few hours later, Bosco and I was walkin in de gardden tellin each uvver dat we was reely happy bein saved, and plannin our feindish revenge on dem herretics wot wrote on de wall "Bosco, you aint saved". When we got near de fish pond, my big bruvver tripped and knocked me into de water wiv a splosh. "Oh dere, Eccles is bein eaten by pirahna fish!" said Bosco. "Dat's a shame, innit? Well, bye-bye, Eccles, see you in Heaven I expect. Ha ha ha." (I suppose dat was hyssterics, but some mihgt mistakke it for a happy chukcle at de demisse of his luvvin bruvver.)
But de Lord give us a miraccle, and I weren't eaten by de dreddful fish. Actaully, it turned out dat, earlier in de day, Anti Moly had dived into de pond and eaten all de fish up, her dietarry requirments is sometimes a little odd. Of course no fish would bite my Anti Moly as she got very tuogh skin.
Bosco dere bruvver, I is very worried about our freind Damain Thopmson, despite all our eforts he is still a Cathlic. Now he have posted another pitcher of an iddle on his blogg, he says he is going to de Albet Hall to kiss it on Sunday. He cannot be saved like us.