This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 18 July 2011

No sinners in de Chappel

Bosco, it panes me to record dis story, but we has got to face de facts. An ennemy has claimed dat dere is a sinner in de Calumny Chappel. Dat is strange as we is all saved.

Anyway, Pastor Al Symphony got an strange letter yesterdday, sayin "YOU HAS A SINNER IN DE CALUMNY CHAPPEL. Singed, a well-wisher". We couldn't find out who dis Mr Well-Wisher was, he aint in de phon book, so we finks it may be a sockpuppet. We told Anti Moly, who had been up all nihgt bloggin, and she said it was a rabit and she wanted to eat his donkeys. Sometimes she dont make a lot of sense.

Pastor Al called us all toggether, and said "We in de Calumny Chappel is born again and so we doesnt sin, but maybe dere is a vipper in de bossom. I gonna list a few common sins and if you has done dem, you gotta confess."

"Has you made a cemment iddle?"
"No, dat's de most evil sin anyone can do!" shouted Bosco. He turned to his little statue of St Peter dat he carries wiv im at all times in case he needs to pray. "Aint it, Pete?"

"Has you attempted to kill your little bruvver wiv a South Americcan blowpip?"
Bosco went very red then. Did I mention dat he have taken up smokkin a pip? Perhaps dis is affectin his luvvly complexoin.

"Has you been allowin sinners into your house?"
We is OK on dat one. Dere was an old Cathlic priest came round collectin for one of his vile charrities, I fink it was de widows and orphans. We set Anti Moly on him and he ran screemin down de road.

"No?" asked de Pastor. "Well dat proves it, we is all free from sin. I aint surprised, after all we is all saved. We shall now sing a hynm."

Oh come, all ye sinless
Joyfull and triumphant
Oh come ye, dat's all been saved,
To Ca-a-lum-ny.
Jesus says dat we is
Absolutely rightoeus.
Thank God we is so perfect,
Thank God we is so perfect,
Thank God we is so perfect,
We, dat's been saved!

Bosco was so pleased dat he went out and got some special clothes, so dat everyone in de street would know he was saved, includdin a funny ring dat he wears round his head. De eagle-eyed will notiss dat he dont have a big nose any more. It fell off and we couldnt save it. But who needs a big nose in Heavn?


Dem is de keys to de Calumny Chappel dat he is holdin. Pastor Al let Bosco pose wiv dem for de fambly albbum.

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