This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday 9 April 2016

Amoris Laetitia - what you missed

9451. Traditionally, the ideal family consists of a man, a woman, 2.4 children, a dog, a cat, and a hamster. In that case, we should take a moment to consider the suffering endured by the odd 0.4 of a child - why is he taunted by cries of "He's not all there, you know!"?

There are many ways that a married couple can show their love for each other. For example, a morning kiss may be appropriate. For those who find this too difficult, they may wish to share in the household chores, such as power-hosing the television, throwing the cat out of the window, or bathing the hamster.

Fr Jack Hackett SJ

Fr J. Hackett S.J. explains that loving relationships can be very varied.

Of course other models of family life are possible. In the parable of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Our Lord tells the tale of what some might call a "dysfunctional" family, with one woman and seven small men. It is important that Catholics treat such non-standard families with love and mercyTM, and do not, for example, send them poisoned apples.

9452. Now is a good time for me to insert a dig at Father Thomas Rosica, who has been a complete pain in recent months.

Rosica block

Only joking, Tom!

9453. The good news for all of us is that, as the Gospel explains, everyone shall be saved. Good and Evil are a matter of personal choice, or "conscience"; that is why it would be inappropriate for this Apostolic Exhortation to mention sin, damnation, Hell, gnashing of teeth, or anything else that is not warm, cuddly and mercifulTM.

cute kitten

This is what Catholicism is really about.

9454. Now I know that many of you want answers to the following questions:

1. Is the Pope still a Catholic?
2. Should divorced and remarried couples be allowed to take communion?
3. Do we still burn heretics?

Confession should no longer involve torture.

Well, I am unwilling to give clear answers to these questions, so I suggest you read this document slowly and carefully - which is ironic as it was dashed off in a coffee break, and not properly checked - and maybe you will find some answers. I certainly couldn't.

9455. There will be another Synod next year, where we wheel out all the usual suspects to tell us what my Amoris Laetitia actually means. See you there!

10 comments:

  1. Another Synod next year? - and presumably another exhortation. Oh no! I won't have finished reading this one by then - in fact I wonder whether I will be able to finish reading it in my lifetime!! Any more like that and we will need several lifetimes to read them so we had better become Buddhist.

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  2. The idea is : read so slowly you never get to chapter 8.

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  3. The pope clarified that what was formerly known as fornication is now merely "simple cohabitation."

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  4. You're dyslexic. At my N.M., the stressed early middle-aged mums who turn up from time to time have about 1.6 kiddies, and that's it since most of them look post-menstrual.

    I'm at chapter 2 in A. L. and making progress. The "choir" will keep me awake and so I'll get a bit of reading in tomorrow - before the Offertory and the Priests Communion that is.

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  5. I have been told that "Amoris Laetitia" contains the Approved Rules, Laws, and Rubrics, of "Mornington Crescent"

    Is this Apocryphal ?

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    1. That's one of the best theories I've heard so far. Mentioned on Twitter now.

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    2. It doesn't contain Willy Rushton, that's for sure.

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  6. I'm intrigued to know what a 0.6 child looks like. Presumably slightly larger than a 0.4? Hang on - I never was any good at maths so perhaps 0.6 of a child will be slightly smaller?

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    1. Come to my N.M. It's swarming with 0.6's. Mark you, I was no use at arithmetic (disnumerate), so maybe they are 0.5s. As for the stressed, tired, pre-menopausal mums, so anxious to get commumion over and done with and off to the shopping mall, plenty of 1.0s there!

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  7. Casta Laetitia is much clearer on family life.

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