This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Friday 30 November 2012

Tolkien film released

It's out at last: The Tobblit, the new film based on Tolkien's famous book.

Tablet

The Tobblit

As many readers will know, this book tells the tale of Pill-bo Peppins the Half-baked, who is sent on a quest by the great wizard Ganduffy, and meets many strange characters on the way.

Gandalf

"Keep to the Left!" says Ganduffy.

The powers of Middle-Earth (or Mediterraneum, to use a more traditional expression) have led Peppins to roam (Roma), but she is determined to escape from their influence: she goes into the wilderness looking for adventure, along with thirteen dwarves. These include Beati, the comedy dwarf, whose invitation to take part is withdrawn at the last moment. She tags along anyway, blogging furiously about it.

Orc

Peppins encounters an evil D'orc, seen here with the corpse of its victim.

The way is perilous, and Peppins often loses sight of her ultimate quest, which is something to do with a dragon. Indeed, as this is a three-film trilogy, she won't get that far for another couple of years.

One of the most loathsome creatures encountered en route is Gilesum, a strange twisted being that lives underground.

Gollum

Gilesum - once human, but now distorted by a life of hatred.

Gilesum utters many strange cries like "BIGOTSES - I HATESEM" and "WE WANTS WIMMIN PRIESTESSES!" He is custodian of a mysterious ring, with various magic powers, including the ability to throw one's voice into innocent people's sleeping chambers early in the morning.

Peppins escapes Gilesum and rejoins the party. They then have to cross the sinister forest of Inwood, where strange sounds are heard that drive people insane; however, the travellers cover their ears, as have so many before them, and they eventually reach the land of elven safety.

Saruman

Christopher Lee plays the part of another wizard, Cantuar the White.

15 comments:

  1. darling eccles - I am poorly at the moment, but this cheered me up greatly and made me feel much better - xx Jess

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    1. Yup, I posted a "get well soon" on your own blogg, Jess. Hope you is soon fully fit again.

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    2. darling eccles. Yeah, get well soon Jess. being sick is part of life. it helps the immune system. Plus, it forces you to lay down and recoup your humanity. i still cant post on your luvly blog Jess. You need to do an article on purgatory.the mainstay of catholicism. Without that, catholicism has no appeal.But you like talikg about nothing. get some meat on your site. You love all things catholic. Talk about the second chance of purgatory. The money maker of the Vatican.Tell your readers how the sacrifice of Jesus wasnt enough.

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    3. Ullo Bosco dere, you radiates kindness and compassoin as always. Soon we gonna get you readin some books dat aint just for colorin in, my dere bruv.

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    4. Hey jess, a guy called Rat, a blog you follow, fixed his comment section. People couldn't comment. I cant comment on your site with wordpress. I cant even comment on my own godly site. Jess, why dont you look into it and as Rat what he did. OR, can you add yahoo sign in to your site. Thats if you want me to comment on your blog. Chalcedon needs reprimanding. Hes a blowhard empty brained egotistical self righteous pompus idiot.

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    5. I had a look, and the problem was the same as Rat's. I will fix it soon, but if you use that sort of language Bosco, it won't help x Jess

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    6. Darling eccles, thank you for your kind message xx Jess

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    7. Hi sister Jess, dont worry, i wont call Chalcedon all those names. I know it wont help. hes picking on some little female. And threatened to ban her. i want to give him a chance to pick on me. Ok, so she(Deborah) likes her church. She wants female priests.That pisses Chalcedon off.

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    8. That's good Bosco. C is simply trying to protect me, which is what good men do with the women in their lives.

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  2. There will be blue morder when this story gets out

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  3. Does Peppins get to meet any elf-made men, like Stephen Fry or Graham Norton.?

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  4. Yeah sister Jess, its your site. I posted just fine on The Lonely Pilgrims blog. He might not enjoy it much when he wakes up. But, if you belong to a religion that bows befor graven images, then, well you have to wear the shoe if it fits.

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  5. I have a new site now, Or rather an old site i forgot about. Uh, i forgot the name. Go to bozoboy87@wordpress.

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  6. I wonder if they are planning on adapting the other Prequel, the Sillymargrafarleyllion ??? You know, the one about the First Age of Muddle Earth which is full of wimmin priests waving their hands about in the air whilst performing abortions on a million unborn hobbit children in the name of love ?

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