This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 7 July 2013

Eccles is hacked.

I was sittin at de computter yesterday, planning de next bit of spiritaul nuorishment for my long-sufferin readers, viz. an in-depth analysis of de book 1 Kings for de Eccles Bibble project, when I noticed dat de pitchers on my blogg was all disappearin.

Not a pitcher

Wot is left when your pitchers has gone.

In de words of de Tridentine Mass Cui Bono? wot means "As a benefit to whom?" (Or, in de translatoin done by Mgr Bassil Loftus in the 1960s, "Whose is dem bones?" - I fink he was referrin to Ezekiel 37.)

So we has to look at all de usual suspects.

men with alibis

"Well, if you've all got alibis, we must look elsewhere..."

Reely, the fust on my list of suspects should be my dere Bruvver Bosco, wot is a saved pusson like me. He and I aint never seen eye-to-eye, which is odd as I often just echoes what he is sayin. However, Bosco aint got de technical know-how to hack a saved pusson's blogg: he once spent three weeks unable to logg on to his own blogg cos de CAPS LOCK key was on. He cuoldn't phone de technical support cos he mistook de TV channel changer for a mobile phone.

So it aint Bosco. Nor Anti Moly, whose laptopp aint workin since she threw it at Mgr X. Pell De Mons, de local Cathlic priest.

sympathy from Bosco

Bosco shares in his little bruvver's sorrows.

Could it be our dere friend Damain Thopmson, alias Captain Custard? A careless reeder of dis blogg might say dat he was bein mocked occasoinally; more careful reeders knows dat he is learnin a lot from my blogg, and his own little blogg is soundin more and more like a paroddy of mine.

Nichols and de Dame

Archbishop Nichols points de finger, but I fink he is wrong.

De fertile mind of Eccles thought a bit more about people who might not apprecaite his writins. Could dear old Richard Dakwins be exasperated by de Eccles Bibble Project, which is forcin him to read a book of de Bibble every week after havvin had it explaned to him by an expert? We is comin up to Sollomon, what was a wise (and slightly saved) pusson - maybe de Professor is scared dat he may be reveeled as not bein very wise himself?

Dawkins gettin cross

Eccles, come clean now - is it wise to cut babies in half, or not?

Well de list of suspects is long, as dere is many wot doesnt luv poor Eccles. We can rule out Basil Loftus, Giles Fraser, and de staff of de Tablet, as dey aint viscous pussons, dey is kind and luvvin, even if dey is wrong on most fings.

Well, my fust break was when I found a biretta lying round de house. Can it be a clue?

a clue

Wot can dis mean?

To be continued...

For dem wot cares, I is gonna repare de most recent blosts, and de most poppular, but de rest is gonna be like de Bibble, and have no pitchers.

Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. Eccles. 1:2.


  1. Darling eccles, does that mean you can join 'hacked off' and take refuge in Mosciw airport? Jess xx

    Iam sorry for our loss x

  2. hwy, it jear meens the pusson's from whose site u took the foto took it off-I blame global warming

  3. Correction - someone who thinks he is clever than you, but isn't.

  4. I haven't decided yet whether to panic, but I'm pondering it.

  5. I would supsect the Secooritee Forcies, Eccles…

    A lot of that going on right now.

    As they have problems with words, pitchers will have to suffice. As Yogi Berra - of baseball fame - noted: “A good pitcher is worth a million bucks”

  6. I believe it is POTUS O'Barack and his spy apparachicks...tweet! tweet! Eccles is a marked pusson.

  7. Eccles is a marked pusson - it's O'barack and his security apparachicks....tweet! tweet!

  8. Mio Caro Eccles

    Per favor - could you keepa the noise down outtaside. Your amici da deacon bloo issa standing inna da rosebushes screamin' aboutta biretta anda wavin' an empty bottle of Merlot. Damiano has a Panettone judging competition tomorrow in Bracknell, and needs his beauty sleep. It has not been dis bad since Anti Moly left.

  9. Cutting babies in half will reduce population growth.

  10. I am beginning to be convinced that 'Eccles' is really a pseudonym for Sovrintendente Agatino Catarella a police office in the fictitious Sicilian town of Vigata in the Inspector Montalbano series. Caterella speaks just like Eccles, mangles his words, looks and acts like a buffoon, but is a computer expert.

    need we say more?

    1. Cue Deacon bloo spamming the entire Italian police force accusing them of being in league with Eccles, random donkey breeders, The Diocese of (fill in current paranoid theory here)....