This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Friday, 6 May 2016

Lunatic targeted in vicious online campaign

Sister Judy Piranha writes:

Co-eee, Eccles!? Ever since I signed my name to that letter to the Polish bishops, I have been vilified, insulted, and MOCKED!? Me, sister Judy Piranha of the Catholic Nuns for Naughtiness!!?? Called a "silly old trout" and "loopy old bat"!!?? And all because I joined in Tina Beattie's campaign to EDUCATE the Polish bishops in the CATHOLIC approach to abortion!!??

Judy Piranha

Sister Judy - the voice of Catholic youth!

Apparently, Tina Beattie is a great FAN of the Eccles blog, and this is how she heard about me!!?? So together with some of my SAINTLY sisters, I was invited to sign that famous letter!!?? Sister Beyoncé and Sister Gaga agreed without hesitation, and eventually Sister Madonna and Sister Elton John also joined in the fun!!??

The basis of Catholic teaching on abortion, is that babies have RIGHTS too!!?? They have the right to be aborted!! Of course, they're too YOUNG to decide for themselves, so we let the mothers decide!!

Like my friend Tina, I was very CROSS at the reaction to our letter!!?? Some people criticised my appointment as Distinguished Catholic GUEST LECTURER at Roehampton (subject: Enrich your Catholic Life with Nude Circle Dancing!!), my position as theological adviser to the Catholic Charity CAPHOD BEEBLEBROX, and my role as the BBC's "tame Catholic" whenever Ed Stourton needs someone from Catholic Vices to put forward an authentic CATHOLIC viewpoint!!?? Well!?!?

Burning Tablet

They're burning the Tablet in protest!!??

Also, Vincent Nichols preached a really NASTY sermon saying that abortion destroys an innocent human life??!! However, he only called us "ghastly Hell-cats" six times, so we know he's on our side really - Tina said so!! As for the other bishops, well at least +Arnold is a great fan, and has installed a Tina Beattie stained-glass window in Salford Cathedral!!?? Admittedly, we DON'T expect much support from +Egan and +Davies!!??

Enough is enough, that's what I say!!?? And the Polish bishops haven't even replied to our letter!!?? Don't they want to know what authentic Catholic teaching looks like!!??

Egan and Davies

"That's agreed, then. I'll call them 'demonically-possessed old biddies' and you call them 'fiends from Gehenna'."


  1. interesting how the English language works... I would consider fiendish an adjective worthy of even the holiest of bishops....can't a person be fiendishly clever, fiendishly humble.....errrr fiendishly holy?

  2. Bella didn’t follow you here, I notice. I wonder why not. She was stalking you pretty obsessively over at Cranmer’s, even counting how many comments you posted on different threads:

    With an average of one comment per blog from you on this Anglican website you have SEVENTEEN on this one about the academic Tina Beattie.

  3. Sister Judy is a good example of ' human flourishing'
    A kalashnikov instead of the traditional rosary beads
    is useful I suppose in dealing with the recalcitrant convent gels.These American orders are very innovative.