ESTRAGON: Any sign of Vincent yet?
VLADIMIR: No. Perhaps he didn't get our letter.
ESTRAGON: Fancy having to call him "Your Eminence" just like a real cardinal.
VLADIMIR: He is a real cardinal.
ESTRAGON: Oh. I thought that was a joke. Like Kasper.
Waiting for Vincent.
VLADIMIR: It doesn't have to be Vincent. One of the other bishops would do.
ESTRAGON: Even Smiffy. Or Conry.
VLADIMIR: No, not Conry. But one of the others.
ESTRAGON: So I told Vincent, "All you have to do..."
VLADIMIR: All he has to do...
ESTRAGON: "... is sort out Tina Beattie."
Tina - needs sorting out.
VLADIMIR: Give a moral lead.
ESTRAGON: Explain Catholic teaching to her.
VLADIMIR: Professor of Catholic Studies. Theological adviser to CAFOD.
ESTRAGON: Trustee of the Tablet...
VLADIMIR: Let's stick to her Catholic credentials, shall we?
ESTRAGON: Sorry. Now what was Vincent going to tell her?
VLADIMIR: Abortion is bad. Wrong. Sinful. Immoral.
ESTRAGON: That's not our team, is it?
VLADIMIR: No, no, we want babies to live. Humans of all ages.
Admittedly, not all babies are sweet.
ESTRAGON: Even teenagers?
VLADIMIR: Yes even teenagers have a right to live.
ESTRAGON: Being Catholic is tough sometimes.
VLADIMIR: Of course the Polish bishops will probably write to her.
ESTRAGON: They'll say: Czemu nie pójdziesz i trzymać głowę w toalecie?
VLADIMIR: I didn't know you spoke Polish. What does it mean?
ESTRAGON: Why don't you go and stick your head down the toilet?
VLADIMIR: Look, I only asked...
ESTRAGON: No, that's what it means. "Why don't you go and stick your head down the toilet?"
VLADIMIR: Do bishops say that sort of thing?
ESTRAGON: Think of it as offering a baptism.
VLADIMIR: Washing away her sins.
ESTRAGON: Vincent will say that when he turns up.
VLADIMIR: How long have we been waiting now?
ESTRAGON: For a moral lead?
ESTRAGON: Six years.
VLADIMIR: Not long now, then...