This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 23 August 2014

Sponsor a tweet from Richard Dawkins

Professor Dawkins today announced a new opportunity to support his Dawkins Foundation by sponsoring an aggressive, offensive, insulting, or simply plain dumb tweet. Said the charming professor: "Everyone is so STUPID! They ignore all my learned books on theology, preferring to read my 140-character aphorisms on Twitter. Well this isn't paying the bills, so from now on you numbskulls have the opportunity to sponsor my ranting."

Dawkins with toilet seat

Rational scientists often wear toilet seats round their necks.

Of course the insults and invective available must be compatible with the SHARIAR (secular-hateful-atheist-rationalist-I'm-always-right) principles of Professor Dawkins. Thus, Richard will not simply tweet "Eccles's Auntie Moly is crazy" but for a fee of £10,000 he may tweet "Crazy people, like Eccles's Auntie Moly, should be killed off. It's LOGIC!"

ugly kid in bin

If you have an ugly child, the moral solution is to dump it and try again. © RD.

Preference will be given to tweets that mock the weak and helpless, such as disabled people or victims of sexual assault, and of course religion of any kind except atheism - preferably Islam or Catholicism.

Thai sign

Religious? Young? Pregnant? Disabled? Richard is waiting to insult you!

Do please take advantage of this special offer. We all want to see a world governed entirely by logic and rationalism, in which human feelings and emotions are understood simply in terms of chemical activity. Now you can buy professionally-composed invective while helping to support Richard Dawkins in his declining years. (Hmm... is it logical to do that? I'll come back to you on that one.)

Pause Cate

Catholics: mentally ill people engaged in child abuse/indoctrination. © RD.

As part of the offer, Richard will write another tweet the next day, free of charge, clarifying what he said in your sponsored tweet and "apologising" because the whole world was too stupid to understand the remorseless logic of his arguments.


  1. I fink ee shud twit bout them christchun slave birds 4 sale in irack PHWWOAARRR !!!

  2. Dear me, the pilgrimage on the Camino doesn't seem to be working yet, Jabba. Try to keep your mind and spirit more focused on food and beer.

    1. Sadly, I keep on being sidetracked into churches and such, so that I am having a very hard time getting into the "Spirit of the Camino"

    2. Read more Paolo Coelho new age spirituality novels: it will help you communicate with the rabble on the Camino.

  3. Richard Dawkins is getting kind of old. Hasn't he gotten past the point where he no longer generates a net positive return on investment for the rest of us? Maybe we should do something about that and cut our losses.