"You're all afflicted with anagogical head lice!"
Now you too can attack the Curia the Pope Francis way! Choose one from each of Sections A and B below, and Voilà!
Section A Spiritual Existential Philosophical Numinous Mystic Conceptual Transcendent Ecclesiastical Devotional Asomatous Sacred Empirical Sanctified Metaphysical Transmundane Ineffable Paranormal Hermeneutic
"Give it straight to me, Doctor! Have I got gnostic housemaid's knee?"
Section B Measles Mumps Alzheimer's Schizophrenia Kleptomania Dyslexia Rabies Lumbago Boils on the backside Ingrowing toenails St Vitus' Dance Dreaded Lurgi Hypochondria Black Death Space sickness Lazar's Disease Clone-Killing Nanovirus Dragon Pox
A cardinal is rushed to hospital with seraphic laryngitis.
Now, you can talk learnedly at dinner parties about the problems of the Roman Curia. For example, "Mrs Pepinster, I've always said that the Roman Curia was afflicted by Numinous Ingrowing Toenails. How wonderful that Pope Francis is there to sort out the problem!"