This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 1 October 2012

Shocking claim about Sir Jimmy Savile

A new documentary about the late disc jockey and television personality, Sir Jimmy Savile, makes the shocking claim that Sir Jimmy engaged in activities that the BBC would normally condemn in the strongest possible terms. Yes, he was a Catholic.

An incriminating picture of Sir Jimmy and "Keith."

Said a BBC spokesman, "We at the BBC knew nothing of his secret life as a Catholic. We naturally assumed that he was atheist in good standing, otherwise we would never have employed him. But it seems that he got up to some very questionable activities in his spare time."

Fry and friend

A model BBC employee.

Details are only now emerging of the sordid lifestyle enjoyed by Sir Jimmy. On a Sunday he would sneak into a sinister building known as a "church," where a man dressed in absurd clothes would conduct a ritual known to the initiated as a "Mass." Sir Jimmy would sometimes take part in carnal pursuits such as the "kiss of peace," and would sing songs with politically incorrect lyrics about some character called "God."

Marr

Another model BBC employee.

Sometimes, it is alleged, Sir Jimmy attended a ceremony called "Confession," where he tried to shock another Catholic by relating disgusting stories about his life, in which he had attempted to "Fix it" for many innocent victims.

Rumours that Sir Jimmy was a Catholic began to circulate at the time of his funeral. Said one commentator, "When I saw his coffin being taken into Leeds Cathedral, to be received by a man wearing a funny hat, I knew that something was up."

Jimmy Savile's funeral

Sir Jimmy's coffin, being received by a man in a funny hat.

As a result of our investigations, we can confirm that the "man in the funny hat" was none other than "Bishop" Arthur Roche, now believed to be in hiding in Rome. Already, there are calls for Sir Jimmy to be posthumously stripped of his knighthood on account of his Catholic habits. There are many precedents for this, mostly dating from the 16th century.

26 comments:

  1. Cristina Odone just had the same idea (and expresses it more clumsily). But I was there first.

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  2. Sir Jimmy Savile had nothing to recommend him whatsoever. He was an irritating barbaric gnome with a cringe-making whining voice and the dress sense of a pyjama-maker in an Indonesian rag-trade sweatshop. The ever present phallic cigar makes it no surprise he was compensating for his inadequacies by groping under-age girls, and it would not surprise me if he was secretly hitting red squirrels with a large mallet, which would be an even greater crime than child abuse for most dullards in the country in which he gained his ill-gotten knighthood.

    But... hey! Never mind all that. He was a Catholic, so we can be sooooooo proud of him.

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    1. The last time I met Jimmy was at a traditionalist Mass. I fear his antics are not good news for Agatha Christie indult lovers. Esther Rantzen is having the last laugh even though perfidious has been removed from the Triduum. In a quid pro quo can it be restored?

      Eccles, can you remove my previous post in this thread please?

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  3. It's a wonder that Popehater types are not on to Jimmy's love of the traditional Mass. In some circles it was even boasted that he ONLY ever attended the TLM. Not an opportunity was missed during the 'scandals' for example: "Have you noticed how they all studied in the seminary before 1962?" became the mantra.

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  4. Sorry if this is a wee bit too long and a great deal too serious. But it is a serious matter.

    FrereRabit states as fact: "The ever present phallic cigar makes it no surprise he was compensating for his inadequacies by groping under-age girls..."

    Because of the influence of two of my uncles who were heavily involved in the Amalgamated Engineering Union in the steelworks, I was very much involved in local politics in the old Labour Party in the old Burgh of Motherwell and Wishaw (of which Cardinal Winning's grandfather was a Baillie; Oor Tam, a friend of my late father, was our PP when I was at High School).

    One of the Councillors, Benny Brogan, taught us all an important lesson that I for one have never forgotten. During a Town Council meeting corruption in the allocation of housing was raised; there were suggestions of brown envelopes and used £5 notes. At one point, a clearly angry Councillor Brogan thumped the table and heatedly shouted out: "Mr Provost, allegations have been made and I demand to know who the allegators are!"

    I would reckon that in the USA about 99% of the allegators in alleged cases of priestly child sex abuse are false. I strongly suspect that those involved in regard to Sir Jimmy Saville have spent far too much time with their lawyers.

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  5. Come on, be a good catholic and say that 100% of allegations against catholic priests are false. They are little christs and are pure and white. And they save you by bringing god down from heaven so you can stare at him in his golden cage. if they were all kiddie fiddlers, that would mean the faithful didnt get salvation from them and that they die and go to the Lake of Fire. So its important that catholics deny all claims of kiddie fiddling by their pure and white priests.

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    1. Ullo Bosco my dere bruvver. Aint it lucky dat you and me is saved and totally free from sin? Dat means when Jessus says "Who gonna cast de fust stone?" you and me is fightin over it.

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    2. Good old cavalry chapel, they is so holy and savd pussons aren't they !!!

      http://www.cdapress.com/news/local_news/article_f07839bf-2a24-50fa-9282-5dd30f421690.html

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    3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    4. I fink I needs to point out dat dis is my reel bruvver Bosco writin, and not a crazy paroddy. He has been havvin a bad time lately, because he is wonderin whevver to become a Cathlic preist; but he has a hart of glod and luvs his fellow man.

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    5. Dere Eccles, someone should point out to bruvver Bosco dat Calflik preists takes a very dim view of luvvin fellow man. Saved pussons are not incouraged to do that, either, unless they are in goverment or show bussiness or pubblishing. Perhaps bruvver Bosco is called to a diffrent vacation, really.

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    6. Say Anonymous, catholic priests take a dim view of homosexuality? Folks, we have a winner here.
      Yes , our priests are holy because they are little Christs and the catholic church is gods one true church, yes. Our priests are holy men and can never be involved in things like...homosexuality, because the catholic church is pure and white.Oh yes, the popes army tossed the heads of its victims over the jerusalem wall, as a kind of calling card from the one true apostolic church founded by Christ. Oh yes. Thank you Mary for burning bible believers at the stake. Thank you Mary. Is that why your statue is crying, because there are some bible believers that your church didnt burn? Oh Mary, may the one holy apostolic church continue to hunt down and burn those bible believers. Thank you Mary

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    7. St Bosco, has you forgotten that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners? So yes, all Cathlik preists is supposed to be pure and holy Christs, just like all other savd pussons is.

      You, too, St Bosco, is called to put aside Anti-Moly's bottles and confess your sins, though you may forget this because you have no cement iddles to remind you to get down to business bowin and confessin. If you not holy pure, you may only be partly safd.

      Cryin statues sound like a good idea in times of burnin books and things. Do you know where we can get some?

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    8. Sounds like dere bruvver Bosco doesn't have to worry about the Lack of Fire.

      Prahps cryin stateus is the reason cathlicks don't worry about burnins; they saves up the water and damps themselfs down first. That would explian dere bruvver Bosco wantin to be a preist and all: fier preventoin. Anti-Moly's bottles could be a problem at burnin times. Better make sure they is all emtpy.

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  6. What do you care Eccles? You dont even believe in Jesus or god. I guess thats better than being catholic and bowing face first to the ground befor cement idols.

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    1. St bosco, perhaps your deer bruvver Eccles has not explained to you that when the calfliks is properly bowing face to the ground befor cement iddles they is at the SELF SAME TIME turnin the other cheek.

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    2. carry on kissing your cement dove, bozo

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    3. It sounds to me like bruvver Bosco has become possessed by damians, or possibly he has been at Anti-Moly's flask of unholy water. Keep your eye on him, dere Eccles.

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  7. "Jesus or God", St Bosco? Powerful revisionist theology there.

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    1. Ay Lapin, still teaching kids to ring around the statue of Mary?

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    2. Say Annon, while Eccles keeps his eyes on me, you keep yours on that crying statue of Mary. It might wink at you. Catholic graven images have power you know.Even though yo cant admit it to non catholics, we know they have power, thats why we bow long and low befor them.Its the godly thing to do. Jesus did it all the time. Paul loved graven images too. So did Jeremiah and Moses

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  8. Now I know that Sir Jimmy Savile was innocent: Damian Thompson says that he was guilty.

    If Esther Rantzen is telling the truth about how "everyone" knew, including her, but she still did nothing, then her position as President of ChildLine is now untenable. She and Julie Bindel, for whom I have a very great deal of time, are undoing decades of their own work by feeding both on and into the perception that child abuse is something mostly perpetrated by eccentric old bachelors who always did give many people the creeps. And where, pray, would that leave Damian Thompson?

    Jimmy Savile was knighted by the Queen and knighted by the Pope. He did an enormous amount of work for charity, that object of unreserved hatred on the part of undergraduate cod-Marxists. He was a genuinely Northern and a genuinely working-class boy made good. He was hugely influential, even powerful, without ever having been to any university, never mind to Oxbridge.

    Jimmy Savile made old-fashioned television programmes for mass audiences, which loved them and loved him. He did so on the BBC, as if that institution were any concern of the likes of him and his viewers. He was one of the best-known faces of popular culture while always entirely matter-of-fact about his faith in general and about his Catholicism in particular.

    Jimmy Savile dared to exist as a single man, neither submitting to the rule of the New Matriarchy, nor making himself a figure of the pederast-founded, highly politicised homosexuality that has been the only tolerated zone of male space, in many ways since the early 1970s, but especially since the wilful destruction of the stockades of male employment in the 1980s. Cheered on, and still celebrated, by Damian Thompson.

    No wonder that all the knives are out for his corpse. Blairism may have died on the platform of the Labour Party Conference. But it remains only too visibly alive and well elsewhere.

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    1. Is this the first stage in promoting his cause? Good luck.

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  9. What about the paedophiles within St John ambulance who are about to receive awards from the Queen's representatives:
    http://bit.ly/ourNZexperience

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