I'm Henry VIII, I am.
The committee set up to appoint a new Archbishop of Canterbury in succession to William Warham (consisting of Henry Tudor, Henricus Rex, and the King) has finally come up with a shortlist of three names. The job involves running the Church of England on a day-to-day basis, and comes with an attractive package of benefits; its main disadvantage is the associated "early death" scheme, whereby the incumbent will probably be beheaded or burnt at the stake on leaving office.
Bernard Hepton Thomas Cranmer.
The hot favourite for the job (who may end up even hotter when Mary gets in) is Thomas Cranmer, the celebrity blogger, currently resident at the Court of the Holy Roman Emperor, "organic" Charles V. He is believed to be a favourite of Queen Catherine Anne. Cranmer tells us that he is very keen on liturgy, and would one day like to write his own Book of Common Prayer. Although brought up as a Catholic, he is now a firm Anglican (although some say he may yet recant if it becomes a burning issue).
Paul Scofield Thomas More.
Although a man for all seasons, the current Lord Chancellor, Thomas More, is not strictly speaking a priest; however, he is rumoured to be a very saintly man, who gets on well with the king. He is a regular speaker on Thought for the Day (we heard him speaking recently on Better 'tis to be fortunate than wise!), and is a best-selling novelist in his own right, whose Utopia is now on the National Curriculum. What will perhaps count against him is the fact that he is generally regarded as an Anglo-Catholic.
Ed Balls Thomas Cromwell.
If the job goes to a secular candidate - and King Henry is getting extremely irritated by priests - then another one to watch is Thomas Cromwell, and not just because he is a powerful man called Thomas. Regarded as a reformer who has denounced clerical abuses and the power of the ecclesiastical courts, Cromwell is likely to ruffle a few feathers in the General Synod. Coming from the Evangelical wing of the Church, he is keen to destroy idols and graven images, and keeps telling people he is "saved." Strongly supported by Dame Hilary de Mantel, the celebrity novelist.
That was a very funny blog post, Eccles. I was reminded by your reference to the Shakespearian actor Paul Scofield that I once saw Charlton Heston live in the theatre in Bath playing the lead in "A Man for All Seasons".
ReplyDeleteIt was probably the most distracting performance I have ever seen! All through the performance I kept seeing him as the Hollywood star of Ben Hur and imagining Thomas More in a Roman chariot race.
The worst piece of mis-casting I have ever been privileged to witness.
Thanks, bruvver rabit, I was beginnin to think dat nobody enjoyed de sutbleties of dis one.
DeleteI saw the Heston production (that's the late actor and not the West London suburb) and was struck by the superiority of Zinnermann's film version. John Wayne descibed Scofield's performance as the greatest in the history of movies. Of interest is that Wayne detested Zinnermann's "High Noon" finding it Un-American.
DeleteI am begining to think that Eccles is a very, very old convert and the Bernard Hepton reference (among others) should have perhaps come with a footnote. It would be like trying to read "The Wasteland", I know, but sense it would be appreciated by younger readers.
De exercise required to understand de obscurer references is all part of bein saved, Sadie. But here is a pitcher of Cramner and Ann Boylen.
Deletehttp://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/secretarmy.jpg
Bernard Hepton was magnificently creepy in The Six Wives of Henry viii. I was allowed to watch it, even though it would have been deemed unsuitable if in modern dress, as my parents valued history and I became a Tudor pedant for long afterwards. On a rare trip to London to see the treasures of Tutankhamun(a huge cultural phenomenon) we went to Hampton Court and saw the costumes from the Tudor series on display. The jewels on the dresses were made from fruit gums. (not a lot of (young) people know that.
DeleteYes, I remember the BBC boasting how cheap they all were. Furthermore Eccles' salvation point is valid and footnotes would not be appropriate.
DeleteDarling eccles, surely it is woeful there are no girls on the list - wot about Anne Boleyn, she might catch the king's eye. Jess xx
ReplyDeleteDat's very true, sister Jess, de king's got an eye for de ladies.
DeleteHope she don't lose her head over him, after all, it is only an eye for and eye and false teeth xx Jess
DeleteHas anyone had their posts banned from Hunwicke? I have for questioning the Hermeneutic of Continuity project.
ReplyDeleteI have suspicion that Fr. H is a bit of an old style anarchist of the Richard Ingram’s school and had a ‘published and be damned’ approach prior to his conversion. This did not go unnoticed by certain functionaries both from within and beyond his own tradition. Who said the Ordinariate would fail then? It seems to be working fine as their members are now being leaned upon in the Catholic way which (I suppose) is reassuring of sorts and certainly explains the censorship.
On the subject of bans. Has anyone read Pat McKeever’s claim (Catholic Truth Scotland) that "Aunti" (Joanna Bogle not Moly of that ilk) knows how to make trouble? It would be fair to say that "Aunti" Joanna is not from the Richard Ingram’s school and fancies herself as something of a Ma Marchmain figure as in the tiresome matriarch from Brideshead. One assumes her father, uncles and grand-uncles or whatever all fought in the war. She has taken it upon herself to continue their moral crusade and stamp out any whiff of anti-semitism in the ranks. With any luck a 3rd World War will break in the Middle East on her behalf and British troops can extend their proxy war on behalf of Israel to the entire region. "Aunti" can then bake cakes and send them to the front. In any event "Aunti" is not adverse to banning posters who disagree or have the temerity to question her. The cakes, meanwhile, will come in useful should our troops run out of ammo and are reduced to hand to hand fighting.
I have to confess that James Preece remains, for me, the number 1 blogger. Rejected by the ludicrous “Catholic Voices”, he went temporarily insane but seems to be recovering after finding solace in the arms of his fecund wife. We can only extend to them and their splendid children our best wishes.
I'm quite new to Catholic blogs, but from what i've seen so far most of them are quite dreary places to be, apart from the delightful Eccles and Bosco of course which is so funny in places it even appeals to non-trads like myself. Eccles i'm guessing is that rare thing a trad with a sense of humour.
DeleteHunwicke's seems more Inman than Ingrams to me with his quaint turns of phrase, use of Silly Hign Anglican terminology such as 'Priesting' and 'Deaconing'and and often shrill tone. However, Aunty Joanna is the worst Blog of its kind. She exhibits some of the worst traits in a Catholic: a loyalty to the heirarchy which verges on sycophancy, a quite replulsive desire for Catholicism to be part of the Establishment and an almost reckless optimism. Worst of all shes so ludicrously twee
I agree Catholic Voice is the most ludicrous bloody thing. A precious bunch, hand selected for being middle class twerps. I detect the hand of Opus Dei somewhere.
We have an angry young man in our midst!
DeleteYour salvation will be determined by Eccles and Co. I am not party to those discussions but wish you well pending their decision.