Q: Dear Bosco, I am suffering from a sneezing fit. Can you help me?
A: Yes, of course sister Jessica. As well as being the only saved person round here, and known for giving helpful advice to Jesus, I am of course a skilled plumber and concert-standard nose-flautist. What is less well known is that I took a one-day course in medicine, which means that I know more about curing colds, flu, and allergies than any quack Brit MD who deserves to be thrown in the trash.
Bosco performs Mozart's 3rd Nose-flute Concerto K.999 with the Los Angeles Philharmonic.
Q: So what do you recommend, Bosco, dear?
A: I've found that Jack Chick's vitriolic nasal spray will remove your nose problems in no time. Don't bother with antibiotics, antihistamines, or Anti Moly's gin - just order your concentrated H2SO4 over the Internet. Or of course Chuck Smith's hydrofluoric acid nasal spray is even more potent...
Q: Thank you so much, Bosco, darling, but...
A: ... but of course it doesn't work unless you are a truly saved person who hates Catholics and is waiting for the Rapture. Next patient, please!
Saved persons sitting on a cloud at St Pancras station.