Exit Ruth Gledhill

So Fleet Street's last religious affairs correspondent, Ruth Gledhill of the Times, has been made redundant. Said one commentator, "Her stuff was behind a paywall, so I never read it; and what I did see, I usually disagreed with, but she was a GOOD THING."

Did nobody tell Sister Ruth that we don't have a "dress-down Friday"?

One or two part-time religious correspondents remain. At the Telegraph there is John Bingham, who does "social and religious affairs", whatever that might be - it's not as silly a title as "strategic events coordinator", which was how Tom Chivers used to earn his daily crust - and of course there is also the notorious Damian Thompson, who writes about religion and custard.

Damian Thompson chats to an old friend.

Then newspapers such as the Guardian can always pump something into Sir Simon Jenkins in order to get a foaming-at-the-mouth rant, blaming religion for everything from HS2 to the World Cup fiasco.

Of course, religion is increasingly irrelevant to modern life. When the Catholic Church decided to canonize Popes John-Paul II and John XXIII, nobody turned up, and the Pope was left talking to an empty St Peter's Square. When the Anglicans decided to ordain women as bishops, nobody really cared one way or the other: the dead bodies on the floor of the synod were just an accident caused by someone's finger slipping while he was cutting sandwiches.

Even Michelle Obama's moment of honesty went unnoticed.

There do remain "niche" newspapers for the religious maniac: the Church Times, which is running a feature on How To Cut Sandwiches At A Synod Without Killing Ten Passers-By; also, numerous Catholic papers such as the Tablet, which publishes articles such as Which Pope Do We Hate The Most? Then there's the Catholic Times with its comedy column Loony Lofty and his Hilarious Heresies Re-interpretations of Scripture.

Of course, Ruth Gledhill was a national institution. Being the daughter of vicar, the niece of a Pope, the great-aunt of a Chief Rabbi, and the uncle of an Imam, she has religion in her blood. We shall not see her like again.

Shock resignation

Giles Fraser's shock resignation has stunned the world.

The world is shocked to learn that Giles Fraser has resigned from his position as comedy columnist on the Church Times. The reasons for his resignation are not entirely clear, but it seems that his onerous duties in the Chair of St Palmer, combined with the additional strain of writing for the Guardian and working for the BBC, have proved too much for the holy father. His 39 articles, to which all Anglican priests are supposed to subscribe (although they can also download them for nothing) have taken a severe toll on his energies. Perhaps he will now have more time for other duties, maybe even some of a parochial nature.

George Pitcher, Religious Correspondent of Viz magazine.

There will be a formal conclave to elect a successor to Giles Fraser, but the hot favourite is surely Jolly George Pitcher of St Bride's, Fleet Street, who writes the prestigious Georgie Pitcher - there's no-one richer column for Viz magazine. Like Father Giles, Jolly George can be guaranteed to concentrate on left-wing issues without pushing too much religion down people's throats.

Laurie Penny, the thinking man's George Pitcher.

Another candidate has already thrown her hat into the ring, namely, Laurie Penny of that famous unread magazine The New Statesman (average subscription 27). With views almost identical to those of Giles Fraser, except perhaps that she possesses a certain spirituality which Giles does not, she could easily take over his job.

Pope Benedict XVI demonstrates a conjuring trick with a dove.

Finally, in a spirit of ecumenism, a surprise candidate has emerged. Pope Benedict XVI, a leading Catholic, has resigned his position in Rome and expressed interest in Giles Fraser's job. "It will give me a stepping-stone into show business," he is thought to have said.