"Yes, I know I allowed Scalfari to interview me - a 93-year-old lunatic who switches off his hearing aid when he interviews, doesn't take notes, and makes up his own account of what happened. And I know I've been fooled by him 489 times before. But we were told to forgive people 70 times 7 times, and this is the last," explained the Holy Father.
"And yes, Eccles, I do believe in Hell. Look, can you imagine something nastier than this?"
Being tormented by an evil spirit in the guise of a fat clown with a stupid magazine to sell.
"Unless it's this. Can you imagine being eternally haunted by a little imp who wants you to read his boring book?"
"In the words of Pope Benedict: 'This is the most fantastic book that I have no intention of reading.'"
Francis gulped, and made one final comment. "Actually, joking aside, I have had a strange vision of Hell, in which Jesuit priests writhe in torment while trying unsuccessfully to build bridges with Satan. It can't happen, can it?"
What Hell is really like.