This is me, Eccles
Wednesday, 31 March 2021
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Saturday, 27 March 2021
Sunday, 21 March 2021
Saturday, 13 March 2021
- The public conveniences;
- A disused broom cupboard;
- A cold area of the grotto under six inches of water.
8. So eventually the younger son said, "Father, give me my share of the estate. I wish to become independent.
9. For my wife Meg-han hath had enough of opening abattoirs in Goole and recycling centres in Basingstoke.
10. She wisheth to return to the holy wood of her forefathers, wherein she may be a celebrity without any duties, save to speak voice-overs for him that is called Disney."
The father is grieved on hearing of his son's wish to depart.
11. And thus Harry and Meg-han left the family that is known as royal, and began to squander their wealth in wild living.
12. Indeed, Harry forsook the title of "Your Prodigal Highness" and changed his name to "Mr Sussex".
13. They went into the market-place and tried to make their fortune by selling useful items, under the name of "Sussex Prodigal".
14. But, alas, nobody wanted to buy a carbon-neutral biodegradable gluten-free halal antiracist gay clockwork hedgehog that played "Shine, Jesus, Shine!" even if it did bear the label "Sussex Prodigal".
15. So, when they had spent all theor substance, they sought another way to pay their way.16. And Meg-han said, "Once I was a celebrity, and acted in a play called Suits. Although you may not believe it, I played a selfish good-for-nothing who was seeking a wealthy husband. Perchance I can act again." 17. But the people of the Holy Wood did not require an actress who could play an aggressive bad-tempered, selfish, good-for-nothing. Although they did say that, if they were to remake the humorous play known as Psycho with a female star, then they would call on her. 18. Then, in desperation, Harry and Meg-han went into the fields to feed the creature known as Oprah. And they wished that they might fill their stomachs with the pods that the Oprah ate, but their fee was far less than hers and they could not afford them.