Arriving at the quarter-final stage of the World Cup of Francis Achievements, we are left with eight truly memorable accomplishments. Now, some people who saw this World Cup in action accused me of attacking the pope in some way, but this is very unfair, as I did not say whether the entries were to be regarded positively or negatively. In the end, they are all positive! Let me come clean, and say that I am a huge fan of "Peter" and am hoping to get a job writing for the blog "Where Peter is Wonderful", which explains that the pope is always right, even when he is wrong. So let's analyse the eight quarter-finalists in detail. (Actually, not all the polls are closed yet, but it is now fairly clear who will win.)
Quarter-final 1: Traditionis Custodes 73.4 v Who am I to judge? 26.6
Quarter-final 2: Amoris Laetitia 44.6 v Treatment of the church in China 55.4
Quarter-final 3: Pachamama worship 90.0 v The Abu Dhabi statement 10.0
Quarter-final 4: Supporting the German synodal path 40.8 v Rehabilitating Uncle Ted McCarrick 59.2
Semi-final 1: Traditionis Custodes 72.3 v Rehabilitating Uncle Ted McCarrick 27.7
Semi-final 2: Treatment of the church in China 37.5 v Pachamama worship 62.5
THIRD PLACE PLAY-OFF: Rehabilitating Uncle Ted McCarrick 20.9 v Treatment of the church in China 79.1
China gets the Bronze medal!
FINAL: Traditionis Custodes 41.2 v Pachamama worship 58.8
Gold medal for Pachamama, Silver for Traditionis Custodes!
This is me, Eccles
Saturday 28 August 2021
Tuesday 24 August 2021
Critics have accused the classic novel "The tiger who came to Rome" by Austen Ivereigh, of sexism, encouraging violence against women, and reinforcement of liturgical inequality.
Tuesday 17 August 2021
Catholics worldwide have been stunned by the news that the Tradi-ban is now occupying Rome, led by the triumvirate of Bar-Golio, Pah-Rolin, and Ahfah-Roche. Last night Rome was full of Tradi-Ban troops singing the victory anthem "Trads Cussed". Sadly, nobody suspected that when President Bidenict XVI withdrew his forces in 2013, the brutal forces of Tradi-ban would soon be able to take over and occupy the eternal city and from there rule the entire land of Catholistan.
Sunday 8 August 2021
This piece, like all the "good pope" articles, is designed for those who may one day find a Mafia boss in dark glasses come up to them and say "Congratulations! You're now infallible! Go out there and make them a doctrine they can't refuse!" One very necessary skill for a pope is gaslighting, which Wiipedia defines as follow: Gaslighting is a colloquialism for a specific type of manipulation where the manipulator is successful in having the target (a person or a group of people) question their own reality, memory or perceptions. There is often a power dynamic in gaslighting where the target is vulnerable because they are fearful of losses associated with challenging the manipulator.