This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday 31 October 2012

Reading skills for bishops

Are you a bishop? It's a great job, isn't it, with an army of priests at your beck and call, addressing you as "My Lord," and quaking in fear that you may move them to a really nasty parish?

Captain Kieran of the Enterprise

It's not "My Lord" any more, it's "Captain Kieran of the Enterprise."

But it's a busy job too, and we find that many bishops do not have time to brush up on their reading skills. You know how it is, you're bombarded with a blizzard of documents from your boss in Rome, all with offputting names like Summorum Pontificum and Sacrosanctum Concilium, and even when you get hold of an English translation, it's full of complicated sentences that you can't really digest. And it doesn't have any pictures or conversations, so you tend to doze off quite quickly.

Bishop's blunder

Oops! Neither the speaker nor the audience can see the screen.

Well, Dr Eccles offers a course in reading skills for bishops. No longer will you make gaffes such as ...over the centuries, and especially after the Protestant Reformation, many of the elements of the Mass had become obscured. Much of this was a consequence of the continued use of Latin, which served to alienate and distance people from the action of the Mass (already noted on several excellent blogs such as this one and this one). This is at best total gibberish, and, at worst, a complete denial of the views expressed by the Magisterium over the last 50 years or so.

Look, Bishop, there's no need to feel guilty about it. I know you'd like to say Mea Culpa - if you knew what it meant - but we understand that reading the Vatican II documents is very difficult if you're not supposed to move your lips. It's tempting to skip over them, and assume that they say certain things, when in fact they say exactly the opposite. Dr Eccles is here to help you.

Este Sancti

Lesson 1: an "Easy reading" translation of the Encyclical Este Sancti.

9 comments:

  1. And after you've taught them to read could you please teach them how to rite......Latin Rite, that is.

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  2. Eccles - you are quoting an Anglican deacon:

    "and what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures or conversations?" ...

    Sister Perp

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    1. Well spotted, sister. That was delliberate!

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  3. However dull Bishops tend to be as creatures and however daft the things they say might be. I have to ask, does anyone actually like this new translation of the novus ordo. Forgive me for being disloyal, but there's a lot of convoluted nonsense and often changes for the sake of it that are unidiomatically rendered. Some of it is just clumsy and works badly when put to chant. Obviously the old translation had its problems, but why replace one mediocre translation with another. Is it all part of some traditionalist plot to get everyone including tabletistas to prefer latin as it's often often easier to understand.

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  4. Bishops should not be bashed xx Jess

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    1. Dem's creul words, sister Jess. Anyways, I hopes you are well (I sees from your blogg dat you is in Ruoen?)

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    2. Bishops is not bashed, only de Rabit is bashed.

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  5. I don't think this man can either read or write, I have written to him three times,
    1) complaining about a pastoral letter advocating we should go to see Broke Back Mountain.
    2) complaining about a pastoral letter retracting the statements he made in the Herald about Confession, he seems to have been made to make at least two stabs at this, presumably by the CDF.
    3)complaining about a sermon he gave in my parish suggesting children who made there First Communion should take following Sunday off of attending Mass.
    None of these received a reply.

    He is lazy, he is a bad communicator, but worst he, is ignorant and arrogant. He will leave his diocese a disaster area by the time retires in twenty years time.
    In twenty years will anyone have faith in Surrey and Sussex?

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    Replies
    1. Ah! How well I remember the pastoral CD on Brokeback Mountain that echoed round the sound system in our church on that fine Sunday. Quite, quite, unforgettable.

      Don't forget the Rite of Exit talks at Confirmations. He's toned those down a tad: he doesn't say he knows he won't see any of them in Church again, it's now just the resigned subtext.
      How's that for evangelization of the young.

      If you really want to rile him, call him My Lord and try and find his episcopal ring...

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