This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Friday 15 September 2023

Fr Spadaro takes up education

Over now to St Bergoglio's Jesuit College, where the head teacher is just introducing a VERY IMPORTANT PERSON to the primary class.

HT: Now class, I want you all to give a big welcome to Fr Antonio Spadaro from the Dicastery for Culture and Education. He's going to give you all a lesson so that we can see how modern education works.

Pope and Spadaro

The Pope meets a cultured and educated man.

AS: Hello, everyone. Let's see what you know. We'll start with some hard sums. What is 2 plus 2, can anyone tell me?

Child 1: Please, sir, I know. It's 4.

AS: You miserable backwardist MORON! [Child 1 bursts into tears.] Someone else?

[Cries of "3", "but it is 4", "5", "a million zillion squillion", "ask the Synod".]

AS: Clearly you are no good at hard sums. As budding Jesuits you should never give a clear answer, anyway. The answer is it MAY be 5. but it MAY not be. Got that?

[Class looks puzzled, and the teacher continues.]

AS: Let's try Physics. What is electric, and has fields of attraction and repulsion round it?

[Class: "a magnet", "a battery", "a wire", "a robot".]

AS: No, you're all wrong! You witless worms!

Ivereigh's tweet

And now, the Janitor gives the correct answer!

AS: We'll do some spiritual exercises later, when Professor James Martin comes over in his rainbow leotard to teach you about Ignatian Yoga. Meanwhile, can anyone answer this one? Who is worshipped by the Catholic Church?

Child 2: Jesus, sir!

AS: Wrong, WRONG, WRONG!!! Jesus is indifferent to suffering, peevish and insensitive, unbreakably harsh, an unmerciful theologian, rigid, and confused. What's more, He is definitely an indietrist, refusing to adapt to modern society. Don't you realise that "Jesuit" is a short form of "Jesus Insult"? That should give you a clue what attitude to adopt.

[Child 2 runs out of the class. Other children makes guesses such as "Mary", "Peter", "Arthur Roche" and "Tucho Fernández".]

AS: I despair of you, children! The answer is Pope Francis! Francis the humble! Francis, the man with his own Magisterium. Francis the saintly! Francis the only pope who was ever infallible!

Spadaro rigid

Well, that's enough Education. We'll discuss Culture another day.

[Head teacher runs screaming from the room.]


  1. Strange, isn't it, that Francis ('I'm ever so 'umble') is so averse to tradition, even though as Pope he's number 266...

  2. I've been hoping we'd again see that photo of Antonio Spidaro lounging in his lair. Thanks for that!

  3. Why is this the first time that I have ever read your blog, having seen and enjoyed many of your tweets? Do you have any idea where I might acquire one of Fr Martin's rainbow leotards? 😉

    1. Welcome to the blog for savedpussons. I do plug it on Twitter (some would say, too much), but maybe you missed this. As for the leotards, ... better ask Fr Jim.

  4. A quick aside: my other favorite photo (I have many from your blog) is the wheat and the tares. I hope to see that again soon, too.