Bosco finks she's addorable, but I fink she would be very expenssive to feed. Anyways, whenevver anyone telephons, Bosco gits out of de box he's sleepin in, russhes to de phon, and says "You is Hilda, aint you?" So far he have said dis to:
1. Someone trying to sell dubble glazzin, who heard dat Anti Moly keeps brakin winders when Damain Thopmson's blogg gets too excitin. Dey fink we'll need reinfforced glass.
2. Fr X. O' Cise of de Cathlics, who wants to explane to Bosco about worsship. I'll say more about dat bellow.
3. Our dere Mom, wot phons up once a month to remindd us to change our socks.
4. De pollice tellin us dat dey had fuond Anti Moly's pair of flase teef wot she lost yesterdday.
None of dem was Hilda. It's traggic, innit?
Anti Moly's teef was fuond embedded in de leg of Sister Terresa of de Cathlic Order of de Little Sisters of St Septiceamia, what looks after de sick and hypocondriac. Dats irronic as Sister Terresa aint feelin too good herself now, it mihgt be tetternus.
Dis worhsip fing is a dreddful habbit dat Cathlics got. Bosco says dat when Jessus comes again in Glorry - dat's de Rapture, for which we buoght pussonalised tickets at de Calumny Chappel Chritsmas Bazarre - de Cathlics is all gonna say "Git lost, we wants your Mom."
In de Bibble it aint never recordded dat Jessus kissed his Mom, so dat proves dey didnt git on too well. She didnt even give him luvvin phon calls like Mom does when she tells Bosco "Change your socks you repptile, and stop writtin dat pathettic blogg." Father X. O' Cise says dat Cathlic worhsip aint quite like that but Anti Moly backs us up, she says she got rells who was Cathlics and dey spent all dere time kissin iddles so dat proves it.
Well, dats enuogh tholeogy for now.
Bosco, I is very shokced. Your herro Richard Dakwins, who gave you dat awarrd for your luvvly blogg, have been seen wiv a statue of Juppitter dat he was clearly plannin to kiss. Have he got no shamme?