This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday 14 August 2023

"Coming out" - a new book from Martintrash (TM)

  • Was Pontius Pilate the "beloved disciple" in John's Gospel?
  • Did Mary Magdalene write Matthew's Gospel?
  • Was Lazarus the "he who is without sin" who cast the first stone?
  • Were the Gadarene swine really gerbils?
These are questions that have baffled New Testament scholars for generations, but now Fr James Martin SJLGBT, author of the best-selling "Learning to Prey", has all the answers!


Did the demons really say "Cast us into this flock of gerbils"?

From the man who told us that :
  • at one time the entire Catholic Church consisted of Mary Magdalene;
  • the Holy Spirit is female;
  • it took Jesus two tries before He could successfully heal the blind man;
  • He took advice from the Canaanite woman about what His mission was...
we have the answers to questions that left Ambrose, Aquinas, Athanasius and Augustine (also lots of people whose names come later in the telephone directory) saying "Cor strike a light, I haven't a clue about these!"

"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." - Gregory the Great.

Note the title "Coming out" - was Lazarus really LGBT, and was this a hint from Jesus that he should recognise his true identity and move to New York? Well, I won't spoil the book for you by revealing all the secrets.

Ivereigh and Martin

Already the critics are praising "Coming out".

Top Synodist, Dr Jane Austen Ivereigh, author of "Pope Francis, the great redeemer", "The Pope Francis keep-fit book", "Go away, Austen, I'm trying to sleep", and "Synod and Synodality" is full of praise for the book.

Ivereigh trash

Hang on, Eccles, he really said that!

Eccles recommendation: Lose no time in reading this book!


  1. I find it hard to believe anyone would purchase his book. I think you should have some sort of award for 'Learning to Prey', which is a frightfully descriptive title.

  2. There are cheaper and less infectious options for toilet paper.

    1. Well said. It is heart breaking that those in high places in the Church are so far from God and the Catholic Apostolic faith.

  3. And the Lord said, 'Father Martin, come forth!' But he came fifth and won the booby prize...