This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday 19 October 2022

Satan appointed to Pontifical Academy for Life

Archbishop Paglia has expressed his delight at the appointment of Satan, the well-known religious figure, as a new member of the Pontifical Academy for Life. In a statement on Twitter, Monsignor Paglia said "The @PontAcadLife is grateful to the Holy Father for the appointment of new Members of the Academy. Together with existing Members they will provide unique expertise as the #Magisterium addresses new challenges and strengthens commitment to #Jesus and His commands."

The PAL in session.

Satan's CV is indeed impressive, and he is known to have personal experience of Jesus and His commands. Attracting such a well-known figure to the academy is clearly a great coup for Pope Francis. It was at first thought that the Father of Lies would be reluctant to join, having seen that another of those appointed for a five-year term is the pro-abortion Mariana Mazzucato, but "Hey! We all have to tolerate people with more extreme views than we have ourselves," he said.

Will Satan be able to work with colleagues such as Mazzucato?

Satan was mentioned in Austen Ivereigh's 2020 Book "Go away, Austen, I'm trying to get some sleep", where the Pope described his work as "thinking that is not ideological, which moves beyond the polarization of free market capitalism and state socialism". Oh, sorry, that was Mazzucato.

Babylon Bee

Even the Babble-on Bean has taken note...

Naturally the Illiterati are excited about the appointment of Satan to the Pontifical Academy. The Babble-on Bean, a satirical website run by Massimo Faggioli, is full of praise for him as a moderating influence on the PAL. And of course Christopher Lamb has rushed to interview him.

It is hoped that this appointment will help restore the reputation of PapePAL, as the Pontifical Academy is commonly known, especially as so many people have deserted it recently. The British parliament in particular is delighted, having just voted to criminalize prayer, genuflection and even crossing oneself within a buffer zone round abortion clinics.

We can help

Inflammatory slogans such as "WE CAN HELP" are to be banned!

9 comments:

  1. "Satan, the well-known religious figure" :-D

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  2. Time to tell Satan to go to Hell?

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  3. "...a moderating influence"! :)

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  4. Professor Mazzucato is eminent in her field, but she never appears to have put more than a few tweets into the public domain on life issues as commonly understood. She might far more usefully have been appointed to Jeremy Hunt's faintly creepy new "Economic Advisory Council", which has been magicked up out of thin air to run the country without a vote's having been cast. And speaking of caste, what does our new Brahmin Prime Minister think of it? A Catholic who was more observant than Boris Johnson, for example Thérèse Coffey, would certainly have been pressed very hard indeed on many aspects and implications of the Faith.

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  5. Pretty good satire ... May as well be called Catholic.

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  6. Now where have I seen this name Rosica before? Could it have been right here, among the Most Hated Posts? l have an idea it was. Well, would you believe it, tongues are awaggig. Theyhe's up to his old tricks again.
    https://www.ncregister.com/cna/father-thomas-rosica-accused-of-plagiarism-in-new-article-on-vatican-ii

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  7. Word is that the famous jockey, Death, is being considered for membership of this Academy of Life.

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  8. In other news, needing self-affirmation and public appeal regarding his refutable manhood, HE Paglia has appointed Prebendary Hugh Jampton as head (sic) of the Sub Committee on "Gender Matters" abandoned earlier this last year by Dom Dinsdale Piranha. He also installed a Holy Image of Popeye "the Goonslayer" Sailor atop a sideboard, replacing the knocked off bust of Janus. The clumsy cleaner, who identified as a Dalek, has been sacked. These events predictably follow this week's ill-fated obsequy addressing the global shortage of cadavers.

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  9. Nice post thank you Michael

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