So, RIP Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court, the one who ate broken bottles, killed rats with her teeth, wore barbed wire next to the skin, and was strongly suspected of turning into a werewolf at the time of the full moon (as P.G. Wodehouse would have put it).
Who can possibly replace you?
Well, it would have to be a lawyer, and other good boxes to tick are (1) being female or possibly gender-fluid, (2) being black
or at least not white, (3) being a socialist, anarchist, or at least a liberal, (4) having no perceptible religion
that might influence how you live your life,
although
atheism would of course be optimal.
So who do they get to replace Aunt Ruth? Amy Coney Barrett! She ticks Box 1, but not the others.
The most evil family in the world?
Problem 1. She is a Catholic.
Solution 1: No problem really. After all, Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi are Catholics! It's just a label, which may attract some voters.
You don't have to make a religion of it! Just turn up at church once a year for a photo-opportunity with a bishop. Otherwise, you can
campaign on LGBT issues and push abortion to limits that even King Herod would have been embarrassed about.
Problem 2. Oh, but she does make a religion of it. She's strongly pro-life.
Solution 2. Awkward.
Problem 3. Still, you can't be pro-life unless you follow the "seamless garment"
philosophy. You won't catch her adopting kids, especially not black kids; I don't imagine she does anything charitable. Not like Joe Biden
who gave 3 dollars to charity last year, even if it was tax-deductible. And I'll bet she would abort a Downs kid without
thinking - what a hypocrite, eh?
Solution 3. Actually, she's adopted two black Haitians and has a Downs kid.
Problem 4. Gotcha! Cultural imperialism. I'll bet she chains the black kids up at night and sends them into the fields to pick cotton
during the day time. And a Downs kid! What a sadist! She just likes to see him suffer.
Slavery. Or sadism. Or racism. Or something.
Solution 4.
No, they seem to be a happy well-balanced family. No drug addicts, no mysterious money from Ukraine.
Problem 5. Well, she's obviously a white supremacist then. Don't worry, we'll find something against her. Probably she touched
someone inappropriately 30 years ago.
Solution 5. Like Biden did last week, you mean?
No, no, no! Biden is a Democrat. He can do no wrong! Amy is a Republican, and so EVIL EVIL EVIL.
