This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles
Showing posts with label Candide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Candide. Show all posts

Sunday, 4 May 2014

The Deacon's blog

Hi, I'm Deacon Candide of the Diocese of Lancaster, and I run the very popular "Jesus loves fluffy kittens!" blog.

kittens

Jesus loves fluffy kittens!

My blog is a nice blog, and could offend nobody. You certainly won't find me being ordered to take a voluntary period of prayer and reflection! Nobody is going to tell me that my blog isn't suppressed but I need to bury it in concrete fifty feet underground!

news stories

No, no, no! These are not the stories anyone should be covering!

Of course, it isn't only fluffy kittens that I write about in my hard-hitting blog about the state of the Church today. I sometimes write controversial posts about bunny rabbits.

cute rabbit

The lettuce community was offended by this picture.

Today's Gospel was fun, wasn't it? All about the walk to Emmaus. We should take from it the message that walking is good for you, nice healthy exercise, and a good way to get fresh air. And if you meet someone on the way, why not be nice and offer them a high-fibre low-carbon Fairtrade vegan sandwich? That's the true message of Easter!

four old ladies

Four young ACTA members study my controversial article about kittens.

Nihil obstat.