Destruction of the idol Pachabanana

Allies of Pope Francis have been reacting furiously to the news that an art work, "Pachabanana", consisting of a banana taped to the wall, has been eaten.

"Hail to thee, Pachabanana!"

Bought by Cardinal Becciu Investments Inc. for $120,000, the Pachabanana idol is a fruit of the recent Amazonian Synod, being part of the indigenous culture of Latin America. At the synod, Pope Francis took part in a service at which the participants worshipped the banana. Its skins have even been exported to the Slipper chapel at Walsingham in England, "to make it more slippery".

The eater of the Pachabanana has been variously described as a "vandal", a "fascist", an "insult to the Virgin Mary" by the usual suspects, and Pope Francis is also said to be annoyed.

Alexander Tschugguel, The desecrator of Pachabanana.

In other news, the Vatican has been spending its "Peter's Pence", donated by the faithful, on making movies. The first one is said to be a porno film about the life of   Fr James Martin, starring Elton John   Elton John, starring Fr James Martin.

It is expected that the Vatican's second film will be "The Pachamama family", the wacky story of a dysfunctional family, consisting of Pachapapa, Pachamama, and the twins Pacha-Austen and Pacha-Dawn. When Pachagranny decides to come and stay, there are hilarious consequences, and Pachamama is pushed into the river!

De return of Bruvver Bosco

My darlin bruvver gettin ready to visit a sacred shrine

Well, it was over 6 months since we heard much of my big bruvver Bosco (we left him in Callifornia sittin on a pole), but now we got news dat he is in England. Bosco tellephonned me and said "Eccles, I is goin to de Ollympic Games in London, so dat I can sabbotage de Vatican Ollympic team by throwin banana skins under dem. Dem costume holly men aint gonna git any meddles wiv me around."

Well I looked around, but it didn't seem dere was much of a Vatican team. Dey has recriuted Arthur Roche, de famuos ice-skater, but dat will be for de next Winter Ollympics, it seems.

Farver, is you sure dis is an Ollympic event?

Still, we did find some worryin signs of iddle worship, and I fink Bosco needs to come along and do some smitin.

Iddle worshipper seen in London

Bosco decided not to go to London, which is a grate pity, as we was all reddy to kill de fatted calf for de prodigious son. In fact we aint got a fatted calf, but Anti Moly was gonna make him a Cronish Pastie instead - bein a crone herself she got de authentick recipe. However, Bosco decided to go to Wallsingham, which is a holly place in Norfolk. Dey gots lotsa shrines dere, like Angliccan, Cathlic and Orthoddox, wot is all unsaved poeple, and Bosco was plannin to open a branch of de Calumny Chappel dere to show de piglrims what really saved poeople looks like.

Bosco is alreddy startin to make his mark there. De Cathlics has got a Slipper Chappel at Wallsingham, and Bosco bein a witty sort of pusson has left lotsa banana skins outside it - de ones he was gonna use for de Pop's Ollympic team - so dat all de piglrims is now slippin over, and swearin in a way dat piglrims doesnt often do.

A piglrim on de way to de Slipper Chappel

It seems dat Bosco aint too impressed by Wallsingham so far. "Iddles everywhere!" he screemed. Bosco, dere, if you is reedin dis blogg, perhaps you could comment from de perspecktive of a saved pusson, wot you fink of dis Sattanic iddle wot I seen in London?

Sattanic iddle seen in London