This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Eccles issues an injunction

Rumours have been circulating that I, Eccles, am the mysterious "ECC" who took out an injunction to stop people telling the truth about me. Although my public image is that of a saved person, with a close personal relationship with God, there are stories going round that allege my participation in a threesome in a bath full of tomato ketchup.

toy ketchup van

Seen outside Eccles's house.

In the interests of protecting my privacy and that of my pet cats, my lawyers have instructions to make vicious threats against anyone using the following expressions on social media:

Tomato ketchup,
Filthy pervert,
Stupid idiot in a red biretta,
Saved person,
Amoris Laetitia.
That should cover most eventualities.

ISIS flag

Our lawyers have told ISIS to remove the message "It was Eccles all along!" from their flag.

Please note that although the jurisdiction of the court is England and Wales only, my lawyers will take particular delight in harassing people in Ireland (who may be unaware that they are no longer part of the UK), the USA (ditto, more-or-less), Antarctica (some penguins have been known to make ECC-like squawks), Scotland, North Korea, Mars, Alpha Centauri, etc.

As a very rich man, Eccles is prepared to keep this game going until he dies of old age, and even afterwards, so don't expect to see any books with titles such as "Eccles - the world's greatest hypocrite" or "Ketchupgate and other sex scandals of the 21st century".


Eccles's lawyers, Messrs Ass, Donkey and Ass.


  1. Equales (no real seeds required as this is GE man, get a grip.) All you need is tin foil and windows and steady supply of assisting - donkey, mule, Novus Ordo Bishopric sod, you are done, dude. All thd gates are gonna be knocking on your limitless ... Ness.

  2. Anyone who suggests that either I or my teddy bear was in any way involved with this had better get their wallets ready.

    For me and my teddy bear have got no worries, got no cares.

    Not to mention an open relationship.

  3. Good luck with that one, Eccles. I'm still pursuing C.S. Lewis' estate through the courts for his libellous statements about me