This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 3 March 2018

Snopes fact-checks the Eccles blog

CLAIM:, the left-wing fact-checking site, motto: "Don't believe what they say about Obama, but do believe what they say about Trump," recently investigated the truth of a piece on the sometimes spiritually-nourishing satirical site "The Babylon Bee" (which is basically like the "Onion" but occasionally quite clever).


Snopes decided that the BB piece was Fake News, and, as a result, Facebook decided to threaten Mr Bee with sanctions. Apparently, some morons actually believed that a certain BB article was factual.

We have now received the Snopes verdict on various other claims put forward on this blog, and the news is grim.

CLAIM: 2+2=5.


ORIGIN: Fr Antonio Spadaro, a bosom pal of Pope Francis, tweeted the following: "Theology is not #Mathematics. 2+2 in #Theology can make 5. Because it has to do with #God and real #life of #people..."

So far this teaching has not been confirmed to be infallible, magisterial, and part of the Catholic Deposit of Faith. Snopes consulted several well-known brilliant people, including Stephen Hawking, Mary Beard, Stephen Fry, and Richard Dawkins, and - although most of them admitted that they didn't know much about real life - they agreed unanimously that 2+2=4. Indeed, this fact was apparently known to the ancient Greeks ("Pythagoras's Theorem"), although some claim that the discovery was first made by the Babylonians or even the ancients in India.

Anyway, although Snopes wouldn't approve of him, G.K. Chesterton made a similar pentaphobic comment:

Snopes also wouldn't approve of the self-evident observation that a person born male remains male for the rest of his life, whatever drugs and surgery he uses to support his delusion that he is really female. Let's move on.

CLAIM: The Pope is Catholic.



ORIGIN: On the one hand, some people would say that by definition Pope Francis, personally appointed by the Holy Spirit (with a little help from the St Gallen Mafia), cannot be other than Catholic. On the other hand, the old chap is not known for asserting Catholic teaching, preferring to make muddled statements that can be intepreted in several ways, and usually are. Still, any definition of "Catholic" that includes Fr James Martin, Nancy Pelosi, Austen Ivereigh, and Tina Beattie must definitely include Jorge Bergoglio.

To please Archbishop Mark Coleridge, Cardinal Zen forgets the problems of China, and reacts to the Snopes verdict with joy.

CLAIM: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau believes he is a teapot.


ORIGIN: This claim appeared on the Eccles blog as part of a totally serious article on the problems faced by people who self-identify as teapots and wish to transition to a full teapotic lifestyle. Justin Trudeau is well known to be totally insane (this is a charitable way of saying that he is the second most evil world leader around at the moment, and is challenging Kim Jong-un strongly for first place), and thus anything is possible. However, although little Justin pushes abortion and same-sex marriage for all he's worth, his aim is to be a DESPOT not a TEAPOT.

"I'm a little despot, short and stout..."

1 comment:

  1. How one wishes you were sufficiently #saved to be made a bishop, or even a bishop's spokesman!