This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday 23 October 2023

Dead people awareness month

Are you tired of Black Non-binary History Month? Do you yawn when reminded that it's Transgender Lives Support Week? Can you really bear the excitement of LGBTSJQED James Martin Coming Out Day?

Well, that's too bad, as the Catholic Church, at least, has designated November as Dead People Awareness Month. It's also known as People Without Lives Matter, and Gone to Meet Their Maker History Month (although of course it's true that most of history was made by people who are now pushing up the daisies).

Jolly Roger

People are sick of stripy flags, so we went for this very tasteful one.

We are looking forward to a lot of Dead People Awareness in November, although we are not expecting many dead people to celebrate in person. To kick off, November 1st is Saved Person History Day, and November 2nd is All The Other Dead People Day. After that it goes a bit downhill, but we end the month on a high note with St Andrew, the Scottish disciple, who also happens to be dead.

St Andrew

November 30th is also Saved Fishermen Awareness Day.

Of course all events will be overshadowed by the Synod - you may have realised that October was Synodal Bores Gobbledegook Month, in which all synodal participants were asked to conceal their inmost thoughts by cloaking them in buzzwords.

Sr Maria Grazia Angelini has shown that women can do this just as well as men (so why can't they be ordained?) with her classic "I pray that this synod receives the art of new narrations, the radical humility of knowing the likeness of the Reign of God in the most varied and human dynamisms."

However, Cardinal Joe "Nighty-night" Tobin is also doing well, with his "Synodality is a constitutive dimension of the Church since its origin that is still being realized today. Indeed, it expresses a radical call to conversion, change, prayer and action for all."

Meanwhile, other synodal "experts" continue to exchange gobbledegook.

Ivereigh and Martin

Austen Ivereigh tells a horrified James Martin that he's just written yet another book about Pope Francis


  1. I aspire to one day be as dead as all the dead people I admire and I encourage everyone to keep their eventual death in the forefront of their mind. In order to raise awareness of death and dead people, I intend to have engraved on my headstone the inspiring words "Memento Mori M*****f******.

  2. Dear Eccles.

    I don't think you are taking this Synod seriously.

  3. If the Sin-odd comes to nothing, we'll all be dead happy!

  4. St Andrew poses next to the symbol for Twitter to teach us how saved persons most like to communicate.