Pope Francis writes a letter (and another World Cup)

As we all know, Pope Francis is not a great fan of Donald Trump - he would prefer the Catholic policies of Kamala Harris (e.g. abortion, LGBT activism, transgender stuff) to the less fashionable ideas of Donald. No, it's not his renaming of the Gulf of Mexico or the threat to take over Greenland (or was it Canada?) that he objects to, but to his immigration policies, notably the deporting of illegal immigrants because they were in the US, er, illegally.

"We're the best of friends, really!"

Anyway, the Holy Father dashed off a letter to the US Bishops' Conference telling them that they should all support the Democrats and be as nasty to Trump as possible. To their credit, they were having none of this, and Archbishop Timothy Broglio, dashed off a closely-argued rebuttal, as follows:

 
Dear Sir or Madam,
   Thank you for your letter of the 10th Inst.
It has been filed.
   Yours faithfully,
   Tim Broglio, for the USCCB.

"It has been filed."

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So, inspired by an idea from @Aletheiaholic, we now have another World Cup - just a Miniature one with 8 entrants.

If you were Pope Francis writing a Papal Document, which of these issues should have your priority?

The possibilities are (in the order produced by my randomizer):

Persecution of Christians;
Abortion and IVF;
Divorce among Catholics;
Assisted Suicide;
Immigration policy;
Eugenics;
Surrogacy;
Same-sex marriage.

The results of the semi-finals etc. will be posted here as they come in.

"Whatever he writes, it reminds me of talking about sex with someone just getting to puberty."

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SEMI-FINALS

Abortion and IVF 78.1 v Surrogacy 21.9

Persecution of Christians 62.1 v Same-sex marriage 37.9

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THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF

Surrogacy 42.4 v Same-sex marriage 57.6

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FINAL

Abortion and IVF 54.4 v Persecution of Christians 45.6

So there we have it.

Ordo Amoris for beginners

Many readers have asked me to explain "Ordo Amoris", which is in the news at the moment. Is it related to Novus Ordo? Or to Amoris Laetitia? Or is it something else entirely?

St Venn tries to explain Ordo Amoris by a diagram.

Well, in fact, Ordo Amoris is one of those bits of Christian doctrine that can be traced back to St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas, two Doctors of the Church who, coincidentally, won Silver and Gold medals, respectively, in the recent World Cup of Pot-Biblical saints.

But who are these old fogeys to set their opinions against those of future Doctors of the Church such as Fr James Martin LGBTSJ, Austen "Rupnik stays up on my wall" Ivereigh, and Mike Lewis of Where Pachamama Is?

The most telling argument against Ordo Amoris is that it is espoused by JD Vance of the "Nasty Orange Man" team. He claims to be a Catholic, but obviously can't be named in the same breath as Joe Biden, Grand Bricklayer and Plasterer Pursuivant of the Masonic Order of Planned Parenthood.

Devout Catholic (retd.)

There is a way of producing an argument that is based on cutting out random bits of scripture, boiling them in acid for 24 hours, and then presenting them as unassailable doctrine. With this you can argue that parents should neglect their children and spend their time in educating the natives of Borrioboola-Gha, on the left bank of the Niger. (I pinched that from the great Mrs Jellyby in Bleak House, by the way.)

After all, did Jesus not ask us, in the parable of the Good Samaritan, to identify who was the neighbour of the poor chap who was robbed? Actually, it may have been a trick question, as nowadays you are quite likely to be mugged by your neighbours, especially if you live in London.

Anyway, once you have put yourself above Trump and Vance, you may as well go for their friend Elon Musk, and even Calvin Robinson of the Almost-Catholic Church. Here you have an easy target, as they are obviously all Nazis!

The Fascist greeting, "My heart goes out to you."

To those of us in the know, "My heart goes out to you" - or in German "Heil Hitler!" - is a code phrase meaning "We are ready to annex Canada, Panama, Greenland, and Poland." Don't be fooled by its appearance in a pro-life context. If you need more proof, look at this message from that well-known fascist King Charles III in the guise of condolences for the recent air crash in Washington.

See! No prayers, just a fascist message about hearts!

I guess that, as supreme governor of the Anglican Church, he would not dare offer prayers, as it would offend many of his bishops.

Well, I hope you found that helpful. For more information, see Pope Francis's next apostolic exhortation "Ordo Amoris is a Synodal Matter".