Supreme Court decides what 2+2 makes

The UK Supreme Court has finally ruled on one of the most controversial issues of our time, and its decision is that 2+2 equals 4, and not 3, 5, 6, π, or any other number.

Justice at last!

To many people this has been blindingly obvious for years, but "transfer" activists have long campaigned for other numbers to be allowed - indeed the most extreme mathematicians claim that places normally reserved for "4" could also be occupied by "5". (A related group is the "sex maniacs" who, basing their arguments on Latin, suggest that all pairings end in SEX.)

Of course, not everyone is happy, least of all Fr Antonio Spadaro SJ.

Spadaro is part of the "transfer" movement.

Naturally, the decision that 2+2=4 will have effects throughout the country. Chancellor Rachel Reeves will have to redo her financial calculations, which were already regarded by many as suspect. The Equation Act already gives protection to the number 4, and "trans numbers" such as 5 will now be excluded from 4-only sports such as polo and bridge.

Another person unhappy with the ruling is Jolyon Forsyte KC, said to be the only barrister to have practised in a kimono while wielding a baseball bat (see Maugham v Fox, 2019). He is already raising money for a legal challenge via throwitdownthedrain.org. Thanks to the wonders of arithmetic, a donation of £2000 followed by another donation of £2000 (anything less is small change for a lawyer) will add £5000 to the fighting fund. Possibly.