Prayers for de sick

Ullo dere Bosco my darlin bruvver, let us ressume de storry of Grate-Ant Molly’s visit. Bosco and me, we had decided to go to de Calumny Chappel for a speshul service of intersession, cos dere is a lot of very sick peoples in de neihgborhood, and we likes to pray for dem. For exapmle, dere is:

1. A pliceman wot was atacked by a scropion (dat's what dey calls Alfie, de pussy cat dat Bosco gave me), and he is in a comma. De pliceman I mean, not Alfie, who has run away and probbably aint in a comma.
2. A little boy who I gave one of dem assenic sweeties dat Bosco buoght for me, and has now got teribble stomahc ache. Maybe he ate somethin bad.
3. A young lady what was walking past our house and was hit by a crossbow bolt wot came frew de winder. Actaully I was lucky cos it was fired by Bosco and very naerly hit me his darlin little bruvver. Bosco says dat I shuoldnt mention this.

Life sure is dangerous in our street. Lukcily I has my bruvver Bosco to look after me.

Dere was also gonna be de usaul prayers dat we does, viz "Oh God please smite de Pop and give him toothahce cos he aint saved and he needs to be tuaght a lesson cos he's still burnin all dem what aint Cathlics. Please also do somefink about de nasty funguss dissease wot Bosco got, even though you cant see it when he's got his clothes on. Hopes you is havin a good time in Heaven, dont let Mary boss you around. Love Eccles, what has been saved, as you may have seen on his blogg. Amen."

We asked Grate-Ant Molly if she would like to come. She said she didnt believe in god or gods, but she would come along and bring her lapptop, as she wanted to write some pungennt cricketism of her enemas. "Has you got enemas, Anti?" asked Bosco. "Who are dey? Let me bite em on my luvvly blogg."

"Dey is everyone on de Damain Thopmson blogg," reply my darlin Anti. "Dey is all fanattical Catlics and sockpopes, except for you, dere Bosco and Eccles, and one or two uvvers like de man who is recoverin from a kick from his pet lama and a famous novellist wot is very pious and writes a blog about how horrid his children are. My enemas has even been mockin me, a laddy of advannced years who has led a very interrestin life. I has to spend all my wakking hours on dis blogg or dey will get de better of me."

However, Great-Anti Molly changed her mind about chruch when we explaned dat we was also gonna sing hynms in de Calumny Chappel, e.g. "Shine on me, and don't shine on de Cathlics". She says she likes Yakety-Sax but I dont fink dat's one of our hynms. So we found her anuvver botle of gin, and she settled down to catch up on her bloggin.It reely ainy much trubble havin Grate-Anti Molly wiv us, except dat gin is expensive.

Dey named a drink after our Grate-Ant, and here it is.

Grate-Ant Molly

Well, de big news today is de arrival of Grate-Ant Molly from Austriala. Just as I was polishin up Bosco's statues so dat dey were nice and clean for kissin, we gotta phone call from de local plice.
"Does you know a very old lady called Molly Bendite, alias Judy Hate, alias Alfred Hoddack when she aint trimmed her moustashe?"
"Yes," said Bosco, "dat's my Grate-Ant Molly from Austriala."
"Well we got her here in a cell, she is screamin abusse at everyone, callin dem sockpoppets. If you don't take her away we is gonna charge her with vaguerancy."

So we picked up Grate-Ant Molly, who is turned out was comin to see us becuase she repentted her evil ways and wanted to be saved. Or maybe she was just borred. Bosco gave her some gin, and we put her to bed. Dis is what we calls a Christian deed of Charrity, and is only what you expects from someone like Bosco who is saved. Soon we hopes to get her a clown costume and take her to de Calumny Chappel.

Here is a photo of Grate-Ant Molly. She is scowlin at some of de statues of saints dat we keeps in de house.

P.S. Bosco gotta crossbow dat he keeps pointin at me. He says it is very easy to have a fattal aciddent. I hopes he takes care.